


In Between

by Moriavis



Category: The Flash (2014)
Genre: Eddie Thawne Lives, First Kiss, First Time, Leonard Snart Lives, M/M, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel, not season 4 compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-11-24 01:56:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20899757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moriavis/pseuds/Moriavis
Summary: After his return from the Speed Force prison, Barry kept having dreams of the Vanishing Point and the death of Leonard Snart. Saving him wasn't the hard part.Afterward, Barry struggled with balancing his friends and family, his burgeoning connection to Leonard, and the anonymous force watching his every move. Something had to give.





	In Between

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a wild ride from start to finish. I began writing this story two years ago, and it was only with the encouragement of this bang that I finally finished it.
> 
> Thanks to Sandy, my artist, who was super cheerful and supportive! Thanks also to a-redharlequin, who gave me a nudge on Tumblr and let me know this bang existed. And lastly, thank you to saekwha, who has betaed everything I've done because she's amazing. Thanks for looking this monster over, bb!

[](http://imgbox.com/oqJlLmpx)   


~*~

It was the same every night. Barry closed his eyes and fell into somewhere—the past, the present, a dream, a Speed Force memory. He didn't have his powers and couldn't even move as he watched the light of the laser guns. In the center of the room, Leonard Snart, with his hands deep in the guts of some weird, glowing machine. The narrow, calculated sneer on his face.

"_There are no strings on me_."

Barry bolted awake, the noise of the Speed Force receding in the back of his mind. He looked around wildly until he could focus on the present. His apartment, in the present, with the mug he'd left on the counter the previous day. 

He didn't think he'd woken up screaming, so that was a plus in his favor. He really had to thank Iris and Eddie for helping him get back on his feet. With the way he'd been sleeping, Joe and Wally and everyone hovering around him was the last thing he needed.

He was okay.

He was okay.

Barry rubbed his hand over his face and pushed off the blankets, zipping through his apartment and getting dressed before he started on breakfast. His alarm rang just as he finished his pancakes, eggs, and toast, and he sped through the clean up, rinsing the dishes and setting the dishwasher before he turned off the alarm and made his bed. He was actually early for once, so he swung by Jitters to grab coffee for Joe and Eddie, humming to himself as he did so.

All that time spent in the Speed Force had left him a little more kinetic, a little looser, and he hopped from foot to foot as he listened to the music piping in on the speakers, tapping his fingers on the side of his thigh. The wait was atrocious, but even being forced to slow down wasn't wearing too badly on him.

If it weren't for the dreams, Barry would even say that he was happy.

Once he finally got his coffee, he checked his watch one more time and raced to the police station. He stepped into the foyer exactly one minute late and raised one of the coffee cups in salute when he saw Eddie, who waved him over. Barry grinned and then huffed a laugh when Eddie immediately took one of the cups and took a large drink, waving a hand at his mouth when he burned it.

"For a minute, I thought you were happy to see me," Barry teased.

Eddie blew on his coffee and attempted a smaller sip. "I'm always happy to see you, Barr, but I'm on fumes here. You'd think after eight months without caffeine I would acclimate but no. You're a lifesaver."

Barry shook his head. "It's cool."

"Mr. Allen"—At the sound of Captain Singh's voice, Barry spun around and pasted a smile on his face—"Nice to see you on time for a change. If you've got enough free time to chat with my detectives, I'm assuming you've got the Dyson analysis done?"

"Absolutely," Barry lied. "I'll have it on your desk in ten minutes."

"Good man." Singh nodded at Eddie and then turned to head into his office.

Once Singh was a safe distance away, Barry's smile turned into a grimace. "You heard the guy. Now I've got to get the analysis report done before he circles back around."

Eddie scooted closer and dropped his voice. "If you get a second, could you hunt down that green tea ice cream that you found for Iris last week?"

Barry blinked. "You're out of it already?"

"Green tea ice cream and sriracha are her life right now. Think you can hook us up?"

Barry ducked his head to hide his grin. "You guys are so lucky I like you."

"We know, believe me. I'll try to keep the captain distracted so you can finish your work."

"Thanks." Barry handed Eddie the other coffee. "Make sure Joe gets this?" Eddie nodded, so Barry headed up the stairs to his lab.

The room was empty, which meant that Julian was probably out on a scene, and Barry took advantage of the quiet to type his report. The keys on his keyboard were smoking just a little when he was done, a tinge of plastic in the air, but Barry fanned it away. The keys themselves weren't really all that damaged, so he emailed the Dyson report to Captain Singh and moved on to his next scene.

He managed to finish two more reports before he was interrupted by his phone ringing, and he perked up when he saw Cisco's number on the screen. "Please tell me you're calling about movie night?"

"Movie night is still a go," Cisco said. "But the scanner's picked up a new meta in Mounds View. You're still a Philistine, but we can argue about it later."

"We can talk about it later, but _Alien_ is _still_ superior to _Aliens_," Barry said. "I'm sorry, that's just the facts."

"You are _disowned_. Get your butt down here."

"On my way." Barry pushed in his chair and zipped toward the door, twisting at the last second to avoid colliding with Julian. "Hey, dude, glad I caught you—"

Julian eyed him for a second and shook his head. "I'll cover for you, mate."

"You're the best. Don't forget, movies tomorrow."

"I've gotten daily reminders," Julian said dryly. "I'll be there."

Barry grinned and flashed out of the lab, stopping by STAR labs for his suit and an earpiece before he headed out to Mounds View. "Okay, Cisco. What're we looking at?"

Iris' voice was the one that came over the radio. "We're showing a lot of electric discharge, Barry. I'm sending Cisco to you." Sure enough, Cisco appeared, stepping out of one of his portals and looking around to catch his bearings.

"Iris."

"Don't you dare use that tone with me," Iris scolded. "I'm on leave from work, but there's no way I'm going to be hurt by sitting in a chair and _talking_. I swear, you and Eddie are so protective."

"Let's table this discussion, ladies and gentlemen," Cisco said, "I'm seeing some telephone lines down?"

"Someone travelling in the lines? Like Live Wire?" 

Barry took a step forward, and just like that, he was with Kara, facing off the Silver Banshee and Live Wire, the sun beaming hot down on him, mist from the fountain to the right dampening his suit "Sparky! Shrieky!" Live Wire and Silver Banshee jerked around to look at him, and he waved, grinning. "Hi. Let's say we step away from the nice lady, settle this like women?"

"Hey!" Someone snapped their fingers in front of Barry's eyes, and Barry jerked back to the present. Cisco stared up at him, his concern visible even with his goggles hiding his eyes. "You okay there, buddy?"

Barry nodded. "I'm fine, sorry."

"Still not sure which way is forward?" Cisco asked.

Barry pointed directly in front of him. "Focused. I'm focused."

"I'm glad," Iris said over the comms. "Head's up—I'm picking up a heat signature that's pretty close—"

There was a blast of flame from behind them, and Barry flashed back a couple of feet as he turned to see who was attacking them.

"Heatmonger?" Cisco folded his arms over his chest and shook his head, long and slow. "Weren't you in jail?"

Heatmonger grinned, wide and wild. "Got out early for good behavior."

Barry shared a look with Cisco, and Cisco shrugged.

"You wanna?"

Barry shook his head and took a step back, setting his hands on his hips. "I think I'll just stand here. You got this."

Heatmonger's face twisted in frustration, and he aimed his gun at Barry. "Don't underestimate me!" he roared, and pulled the trigger. Barry didn't even need to flash out of the way, because the second the flame erupted from the muzzle, Cisco was there, a portal appearing in front of Barry. A second portal appeared behind Heatmonger, and he was struck in the back by his own shot.

Cisco shook his head and used a vibe to smother Heatmonger's smoldering jacket. "No offense, dude, but you're just not ready for the big leagues yet. Nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm gonna kill you!" Heatmonger shouted, and Barry tilted his head to the side.

"Nah, you're really not. Bet your parole officer isn't going to be happy to hear about this." He zipped around for half a second, tying Heatmonger up with some extension cords from the hardware store down the street. He went back and left money for the extension cords and the caution markers he put around the downed telephone lines. 

Cisco opened another portal and waved to Heatmonger one more time before they stepped through and into the cortex of STAR labs. "Another win for Team Flash," he said cheerfully; he and Barry high-fived.

Iris didn't look like she was interested in celebrating, frowning at the computer screen in front of her.

"Why the long face?" Cisco asked. "We caught the bad guy. Barry didn't even need the help."

"The scanner went off because it detected dark matter," Iris said, not bothering to look away from her screen. "There was a meta there. Where did they go?"

Barry shrugged. "Maybe they aren't bad, and we won't have to worry about them again."

"That's optimistic," Iris said, and she finally looked away from the computer, dialing in an automatic call to the police and reporting the downed telephone lines to the phone company. "It's one of the things I like about you." She grunted softly as she pushed away from the console, standing and pressing a hand to her lower back as she waddled closer for a hug.

Barry curled his arms around her very carefully, not bothering to hide his fond smile. "That, and my ability to find all the foods you're craving."

"That's why _Eddie_ likes you," Iris retorted, and she jabbed him in the side with her finger as she pulled away. "Don't think I don't know you've been sneaking him coffee, by the way. I haven't decided if I'm going to forgive you for the betrayal."

"I can make you brownies?" Barry suggested, and Iris stared at him for a moment before she finally laughed and patted his arm.

"They better be good ones. That's all I'm saying."

"I've got to get back to work." Barry took a step back and squeezed Iris' arms affectionately. "Be careful."

Iris smiled impishly. "Don't worry. If anything happens, there's a doctor right next door."

"I'm not an obstetrician!" Caitlin protested from the other room. "We're not having any babies in the lab!"

"And _that's_ my cue to leave." Barry flashed out of his suit, waved a last goodbye, and headed back to work.

Even now, he couldn't shake the feeling that he had done all of this before, but he pushed the deja vu away.

The people he loved were safe and happy.

Everything else was noise in the wind.

~*~

Barry opened his eyes and discovered he was standing in the middle of a large, cavernous room, blue light catching on the silver walls and dancing, like it was all reflected on water. The burn of laser gunshots sounded off, and to his left, he saw Sara Lance, dragging an unconscious Heat Wave behind her. In front of him, in the center of the room, Leonard Snart. His hands deep in the guts of that strange, glowing machine. The narrow, calculated sneer on his face.

"_There are no strings on me_."

Barry bolted upright, blinded by the bright white light of the explosion, and drew his knees to his chest, trying to get his gasping breath under control. The Speed Force lit in him, and he was halfway to Joe's house before he came to his senses and stopped in the middle of the road.

There was a man in the lightning. He killed Barry's mother. He was on the road, running back home—he was holding her as she died—he was standing hidden behind the door of his childhood home.

The memories flashed before his eyes, each equally important, each equally present, and Barry ran his hands through his hair, grabbed handfuls as if it could keep him in one moment, in one place, until he got himself figured out again.

Slowly, he recognized that he wasn't headed home. The asphalt was cool beneath his bare feet. He was in his pajama pants because it was the middle of the night. He'd been sleeping. Barry took one slow breath, then another, and locked himself tight into his skin. Only when he didn't think he was going to lose himself with the first electric brush of the Speed Force did he turn around and head back home to his own quiet apartment, with the small balcony and the fire escape that made it easy for him to come and go whenever he needed.

He took a bottle of water from the fridge and downed it all in one go before he tossed it in the recycling bin, and then turned on the television for some white noise to drown out the rest of his thoughts.

Why, out of everyone, was he torturing himself with Snart? The Speed Force had its own way of communicating, and although Barry had gotten better at hearing it, this time he was still at a loss. It hadn't wanted to let him go, but now that he was back out in the world again, he remembered what it had been like, at peace and everywhen.

Did he miss it? He didn't really know anymore.

~*~

Barry made a face at Eddie as Eddie liberally doused Iris' ice cream with sriracha, and then shook his head as he watched Eddie present it to Iris like it was toxic material. Joe and Cecile were on the sofa together, everyone else dragging chairs closer to the television. They had popcorn and pizza, and Barry couldn't think of anything else to keep himself busy. He finally settled into a chair, energy still crackling through him, and they started the movie. They were watching _The Goonies_, because Julian had confessed to having never seen it. That was fine, even if it wasn't one of Barry's favorites.

Halfway through the movie, Barry eased his way out of his chair and went for the door, waving Cisco down when he looked like he wanted to get up and follow him.

He was okay.

Everything was fine.

He sat down on the front stairs and took a deep breath, looking up and down the familiar street.

The door opened and shut behind him, but he didn't bother to look and see who had followed him out—a minute later, Joe settled next to him on the stairs.

"You all right, Barr?"

Barry nodded, but couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Joe nodded and rested his forearms on his knees. "I'm glad. It'd kill me if I thought you didn't trust us enough to talk about something that was bothering you."

Barry shrugged, looking down at his shoes. "I don't remember what it was like in the Speed Force," Barry lied, picking at his shoelace. "I know I was having weird dreams when I came out."

Joe nodded with feeling, and he set his hand on Barry's shoulder, squeezing. "You had some trouble figuring out what was real."

It was all real, Barry wanted to say, but he stayed quiet. "I'm having dreams about Snart."

"Dreams?" Joe sounded surprised, a little unsure, like he didn't know if he wanted the details. It made Barry snort.

"Ray told me that he died. That he sacrificed himself to save everyone. He didn't say how it happened, or where it was, but…" Barry ran his fingers through his hair. "I keep having this dream about this place I've never been before. It's called the Vanishing Point."

"If you've never been there, how do you—"

"I don't know. Dream logic?" Barry shrugged and breathed a sigh, his shoulders slumping. "Whatever it is, I'm there, every night. He always dies at the end. I can't stop it. I can't even stop watching it."

"I'm not a psychiatrist," Joe said, squeezing Barry's shoulder again. "But you've lost a lot of friends. And even though I never understood it, I know you always thought Snart was… special."

Barry laughed softly at that, shaking his head without any real thought behind it. "So your guess is he's a stand in for everything I'm not dealing with?"

Joe shrugged. "I don't know. Like I said, I'm not a psychiatrist. I was just tossing it out there. Do… you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling?"

"God no," Barry gasped. "I had enough therapy when I was ten to last me the rest of my life." He shook his head and straightened his shoulders. "Never mind. I'm sure they'll go away."

Joe nodded. "They could. But you don't have to pretend you're fine if you're not, Barr. Not with us. You know that, don't you?"

"I—of course I know that." Barry's cheeks heated in an embarrassed flush, and he stood, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Anyway, I don't know what I was thinking. We're missing out on movie night."

Joe stood and followed after Barry, ruffling his hair. "You've never liked that movie."

"Well, you know, it could always get better on the… fourth watch."

"How about we promise _Terminator_ for the next movie?" Joe asked as they walked back inside.

"Make it T2, and you have a deal."

"Why is everyone leaving during _The Goonies_?" Cisco asked, craning his head to glare at Joe and Barry.

Iris shrugged and tossed some popcorn in her mouth. "Barry doesn't like it."

"Doesn't like _The Goonies_? Who even _are_ you?" Cisco threw a handful of popcorn at Barry, who caught every piece and grinned before he ate it. "Thanks for the snack."

Cisco jabbed a finger in Barry's direction. "I'm watching you, buddy."

Barry raised his hands in surrender and then caught sight of an open pizza box with a few slices left in it. "Ooh! That pizza is calling my name." He zipped forward and grabbed a slice before anyone else could protest and then retreated back to his chair. He didn't bother trying to pay attention to the movie anymore. Instead, he watched his friends—Caitlin and Cisco bickering, Cecile settling in against Joe's side when he sat back down, the smile Eddie and Iris shared when Eddie gave Iris his popcorn, the way Julian was leaning forward, elbows on his knees as he watched the movie with single-minded focus.

Every one of them, an anchor keeping him here.

He had no idea how he'd gotten so lucky.

~*~

Light flickered on the silver columns that were lined in front of him, and for the first time, Barry looked up to see… spaceships? Time ships? Docked in the air, anchored solidly to gangways. When he turned his face forward, it was like he'd walked without realizing it. Names came at him like crackling bursts of inspiration—Time Masters. The Vanishing Point. The Oculus. He was inside some sort of futuristic warehouse. Why hadn't he realized before that this place and the silver pillars from earlier were two different places?

Lasers cut the air in brilliant blasts of light. Sara Lance staggered toward the exit, hauling an unconscious Mick Rory. In the center of the room, Leonard Snart. His hands deep in the guts of the Oculus. The narrow, calculated sneer on his face.

"_There are no strings on me_."

Barry opened his eyes and blinked sightlessly up at the ceiling before he groaned and pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. At least he knew where he was this time.

He pushed away the blankets and glanced at the clock—3:30 in the morning, and he wasn't going to go back to sleep any time soon. He made himself a quick breakfast of eggs, toast, and bacon and turned on the news. None of the local news stations had started their morning shows, so everything was a recap. Local politicians running for office, Heatmonger's breach of parole and new arrest at the hands of Central City's superheroes.

He turned off the television, washed his dishes, and went to STAR Labs. No one was there this early in the morning, so he soaked in the quiet. It was times like this that he missed having someone who knew more about the Speed Force and his powers than he did. From the corner of his eye, he saw Harrison wheel into the cortex, but—no. That was a memory. He refused to give Eobard Thawne any more room in his thoughts, not when he could still be out there somewhere.

All the same, Barry went to the future room that held Gideon's computer and sat down, staring at the controls.

"Good morning, Mr. Allen," Gideon intoned.

"Good morning, Gideon," Barry responded, and he leaned back in his chair, lacing his fingers behind his head. "How goes the future?"

Instead of responding, Gideon showed him a hologram of a newspaper. He was still set to vanish in 2024, and the headline still said Iris West-Thawne. It was good to see that everything was staying on track, even when he felt he was falling off it.

"Gideon, are you able to contact the other Gideon?" Barry asked, straightening in his chair.

"If the Waverider is in a time period where I exist, I should not have any difficulty. Give me a moment." There was a small pause, and Gideon continued, "What should I ask?"

"Can you see if Mick Rory's available?" Barry asked, the idea only just taking form in his mind.

There was another minute of silence, and then Mick's face was projected in front of him. Mick took a drink of his beer and belched. "What's this?"

"I… wanted to talk with you," Barry said.

Mick looked unamused. "We ain't buddies, Sparky. Why're you calling me?"

"I've been having dreams about Snart. I was hoping you could clear some things up."

Mick stiffened and lowered his beer. "Dreaming about Snart? I don't need to know how you get your jollies, kid."

"My—_What_?" Barry shook his head. "Why are people thinking—"

Mick shrugged. "Snart was obsessed with you. Not gonna judge you if you leaned the same way." He pinned Barry with a hard look. "I'm not in the mood to reminisce. You got something to say, spit it out."

"Ray... told me he died saving everyone, but didn't give me the details," Barry blurted out, afraid Mick was going to lose patience and disconnect. "But in the dreams I'm having, I'm in this—place."

Mick's face hardened further. "Yeah?"

"It was like a warehouse, in a way." Barry tried to remember the details, the way the space had seemed so large and empty. "There were pillars? And Snart was there, with his hands in—in a _thing_—"

"The Vanishing Point." Mick looked off screen, his mouth pressed into a tight line. "You're talking about the Vanishing Point."

Barry leapt up from his seat like he'd gotten a shock. "The Vanishing Point! Yes! That's real? And the Time Masters? The Oculus? Are those all real, too?"

Mick slammed his fist against the console on his side. "Where you getting all that stuff?"

"Clean out your ears, Mick," Barry said. "I _dreamed_ them. What exactly is the Vanishing Point?"

Mick settled down, averting his eyes and reaching up to squeeze something hanging from the chain around his neck. "The Vanishing Point. Where a group of assholes thought they could direct the flow of time just because they were standing outside of it." Mick took a swig of his beer. He remained silent long enough that Barry thought their conversation was over. "It should've been me. Not Leonard."

Barry settled back in his seat, riveted by the expression on Mick's face. "Want to tell me about it?"

Mick pinned Barry with another hard look. "I told you I didn't want to think about it. They were controlling time, I wanted to give them the middle finger and go out taking them out with me. Snart was a dumb fuck, and now he's dead."

Barry bowed his head, interlacing his fingers in front of him. "Snart died out of time. He died… _outside_ of time."

Mick frowned. "I don't like your face, Sparky."

"No, no—" Barry grinned and leapt out of his seat. "I finally understand what the Speed Force is trying to tell me. Thanks, Mick. You were a big help."

"Whatever dumbass thing you're about to do—"

"Bye!"

Mick's eyes bulged as he stood, looming toward the display. He got out one final, "_Sparky_!" before Barry ended the connection and gave the Gideon computer a pat.

"Thanks, Gideon."

"Of course, Mr. Allen. I'm happy to be of service."

Barry left the future room, electricity buzzing under his skin as he raced to the speed lab. Outside of time meant fewer—maybe even no—time wraiths. It meant no changes to the timeline. Outside of time, there were no teacups to break. If he could aim it right, then just maybe... The Speed Force hadn't been torturing him with his guilt, it had been giving him an opportunity he'd been too blind to see. He took a breath, steeling himself before he started to run faster and faster. 

Please. Barry didn't pray, but the Speed Force was something that wasn't entirely science, and just maybe it would take pity on him. Please. I couldn't save my Mom, I couldn't save Ronnie, I couldn't stop the Reverse Flash, but let me have this one. Let me put this one in my win column.

A wormhole opened before him, and he darted in before he second-guessed himself, keeping his goal firmly in mind so he wouldn't get lost in the Speed Force. Snart. The Vanishing Point. Outside of time. Barry had to keep pushing. The Speed Force clung to him like a second electric skin, promising him peace again if he only stayed, and Barry pushed past the seductive siren call of the run. He felt himself break through the Speed Force like he was pushing through a membrane, and he had a nanosecond to recognize where he was. The same moment as his dream.

Laser blasts lit the room, but Barry was moving so fast they were frozen in the air, little bars of light that took no effort to dodge. Snart, standing in front of the Oculus, his snarl frozen on his face. The Oculus was just starting to ignite, and Barry watched it encroach.

No.

Barry was going to succeed.

He put on another burst of speed, pulling from some reserve he didn't even know he had, and wrapped his arms around Snart's torso, pulling them flush so he could protect Snart from the blast and the whiplash from the run. Snart was heavier than what Barry was used to carrying, but he refused to give up, the light of the explosion illuminating the warehouse as he moved. There was a scorching pain at his back as the blast caught up, and he reached for the rift as hard as he could, his muscles straining as he leapt back into the Speed Force before the rift closed.

The Speed Force welcomed Barry like he was coming home, but he clutched Snart tighter, thinking of Central, of his family and friends, all still asleep. Gideon in the future room. Iris and his godchild.

They burst back into the speed lab in a flash of light, and Barry lost his footing, dropping Snart and skidding into the wall before he was finally able to stop. His leg cracked at the impact, but the pain diffused almost immediately, and he took one sweet, indulgent minute to lay flat on the ground and focus on his breathing.

That minute completed, Barry scrambled to his feet, stumbling over himself as he made his way over to Snart. 

"Hey, you okay?"

The snarl was only just beginning to fade from Snart's lips, and he blinked once, looking in confusion at his scorched fingertips. "What the hell?"

Barry half-fell, half-sat next to Snart, grabbing a handful of Snart's shirt in relief. "I got you." Tears stung and blurred his vision, and Barry rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his palm. "You're safe, and I got you."

Snart blinked again—Barry didn't think he'd ever seen him so off guard.

"Barry?" 

Snart's voice was soft, genuine in the way he'd only ever heard when they were alone, and Barry smiled, helpless and immediate. His vision grayed out for a second, and when he came to, he was laying on the floor of the track, Snart hovering above him, as if he wasn't sure he was allowed to touch.

"Kid, can you hear me? If you're dead, I'm going to kick your ass."

Barry laughed weakly at that, and the concern on Snart's face smoothed to relief.

"Sorry." Barry pushed himself up on one arm, the room swimming alarmingly around him. "Hypoglycemic—give me a minute, I'll get an energy bar from the cortex." He must have grayed out again, because when he stirred back to consciousness, Snart was on his other side, hissing a breath as he tore the foil off one of the energy bars.

"Your hands are burned," Barry protested weakly, trying to work his way up again. "Don't hurt yourself—"

"You passed out twice. Don't move." Snart managed to yank the foil away in one of the graceful flourishes he always managed to make look easy, and he offered Barry a chunk. Barry shoved it in his mouth, wrinkling his nose as he chewed—it still wasn't particularly appetizing, but he needed what he could get. He finished the bar before he looked back at Snart, who sat heavily on the floor beside him, his forearms balanced on his knees as he looked around.

The silence stretched between them, and slowly Barry grew more alert. He glanced at Snart and cleared his throat. "Are you all right?"

"Well," Snart drawled. "I'm blinking away spots in my right eye, and everything hurts. But I'm alive." Snart looked over at Barry, and now that Barry wasn't running for his life, he could see the light pink burn on Snart's exposed skin. Barry hadn't quite been able to shield Snart after all.

Snart raised his eyebrow as he stared at Barry, long and lingering, and it made Barry pat his chest absently. Was there something on him? Was he on fire and didn't realize it? His shirt peeled away in shreds when Barry touched it, and he remembered the flare of light, the pain of the explosion against his back as he tried to outrun the Oculus. He hadn't even realized he was burned too, not with the Speed Force working overtime to get him back into shape.

"You're…" Snart gestured at him as he sat up and blurred, the last torn and scorched pieces of his shirt falling around him.

"Yeah," Barry said, and he was steady enough to go the cabinet where they kept extra STAR Labs shirts. He pulled one over his head and turned back to Snart. "Want one? Your jacket is looking like it's seen better days."

Snart jerked and looked down at himself, as though it hadn't occurred to him that his clothes might have been worse for wear, too. The jacket was unsalvageable, having taken the brunt of the Oculus explosion and the lightning from Barry's speed, and Snart frowned, staring at his sleeve for a minute before he shrugged out of the jacket, his forehead only just creasing in a wince at the movement.

There was a loud boom of sound, and the room went darker with red light, klaxons sounding. Snart's hand dropped to his thigh for a gun he wasn't carrying, and Barry darted in front of him as another thud made the door shudder.

Rising above the sound of the alarm was Mick's bellow, and Barry sighed, walking over to the computer consoles and turning off the alarms.

"I said 3:30 in the morning, not 6:30 in the morning!" Mick shouted as he kicked the door to the cortex down. "Why do I let you idiots pilot the damn thing, you can't fly accurate for shit—"

Mick froze in the doorway when he saw the two of them, his words dying in his throat. Ray bumped into him from behind and made Mick stagger forward a step, even as Mick threw his arm out to keep the rest of his team back.

To their left, a portal opened, and Cisco fell out, still shrugging on his jacket, his phone held to his ear. "Come on, Barry, pick _up_, we've got a—" Cisco snapped his mouth shut when he saw the Legends, and then slowly lowered his phone, sliding his thumb across the screen and ending his call when he turned to look at Barry.

"I, uh. Was calling because we had intruders in the lab," Cisco said, his forehead wrinkled in confusion as he looked from Mick to Barry, to Snart, and back again.

Sara pushed past Mick and stared unblinkingly at Snart before her jaw firmed and she turned furious eyes on Barry. "What have you _done_?"

"Yeah." Snart folded his arms over his chest, wincing, and cocked his head as he looked around the lab again. "What _have_ you done?"

~*~

"Run that by me one more time," Cisco said, removing his goggles and running a hand through his hair.

Barry sighed, shifting on the medical bed as Caitlin checked the IV site to make sure the saline hadn't missed his vein.

Snart was sitting upright on the other medical bed, his feet planted on the floor, and Barry couldn't resist looking over again, marvelling that he was there, that he was real. 

"I've already told you guys five times already," Barry protested.

"And every time you tell us what you did, it sounds fake," Snart said.

Barry scowled at Snart. "Still haven't gotten a thank you."

Snart scowled right back. "I'm sorry. You rescue people for the gratitude?"

Barry shook his head and let it rest back against the pillow. "I've been having nightmares about the Vanishing Point. Mick gave me the details I needed, and I went and saved Snart. He's not an aberration. He's not from an alternate universe. It's him."

Sara shook her head, one fierce motion. "He died. He _died_. We mourned him, and we moved on."

"Some of us didn't," Mick snapped, and an awkward silence descended on all of them.

After a minute, Snart cleared his throat pointedly. "In the absence of any actual communication, I have some questions." He stood with another wince, his skin burned an obvious, shiny pink, but he took the time to case the medical room, taking in everyone silently. "How long have I been out? Did you manage to defeat Savage without me? Where are Kendra and Carter? Who are these people?" That last question was accompanied by a gesture toward Nate and Amaya, who were standing in the corner of the room farthest from the medical beds.

"Dude." Jax took a breath and gave an expansive half-hearted shrug. "You've been gone for two years."

Snart averted his eyes, looking off to the side as he thought, and Sara went to him, reaching out and tentatively touching his shoulder.

"We got Savage. Kendra and Carter decided to leave after he was defeated to see if they could build a life together without his interference." She laughed softly. "I'm the captain of the Waverider now." She jerked her head toward Nate and Amaya. "They're part of the crew. Joined up after we lost you."

"You'll excuse us if we don't get closer," Amaya said, her tone level and wary. "The last time we met a version of you, we were killed."

"We were all killed," Mick said, shrugging. "Don't worry about it so much."

"So weirded out that everyone dies on the Waverider," Cisco muttered under his breath, edging closer to Barry's bed. Caitlin eyed the empty saline package like she was going to replace it, and Barry rolled his eyes, detaching the IV himself.

"Barry Allen!" Caitlin scolded, and Barry grew flustered when everyone turned to look at him.

"What?" he asked defensively, rubbing the IV site while it healed. "I don't need it anymore, I'll go actually eat something."

"Hey. Flash." Mick shuffled a couple of steps closer, pausing when Caitlin stiffened. He jerked his head toward Snart. "This for real?"

Barry smiled, hesitant, there and gone again. "You told me that the Vanishing Point was outside of time. The Oculus still exploded. I haven't seen any time wraiths." Barry swung his feet over the bed as he sat up, and rolled his shoulders, trying to work the stiffness out before it healed naturally. "He's here for good."

Sara turned to look at Barry, raising her communicator to her wrist. "Hey, Gideon. Can you tell me if there are any aberrations regarding Leonard Snart?"

"The past and the present remain unaffected, Captain," Gideon said. "I have identified residual temporal radiation coming from both Mr. Snart and Mr. Allen, which I assume is in reaction to the destruction of the Oculus."

Sara nodded, and her face filled with resolve before she turned back to Snart and pulled him into a careful hug. Snart seemed surprised, resting his hands carefully on her sides. "It's good to have you back, Leonard."

"Missed having you around, man," Jax agreed, presenting his fist for a dap that Snart, after a second's hesitation, returned.

"It is good to see you again, Mr. Snart," Stein agreed, clasping Snart's hand between both of his. "Especially in your less homicidal, more reasonable state of mind."

Ray shuffled forward with a delighted eagerness, arms already rising for a hug, and Snart leaned back, pinning him with a look. "No."

Ray's smile faded. "But—"

"No."

"Leave it, Haircut." Mick bowed his head and slipped his necklace off, tossing it onto the bed next to Snart. "Don't lose it this time, got it?"

Snart shared a long look with Mick and nodded. "Got it. Got something else of mine, don't you?"

Mick folded his arms over his chest and took a step back—Ray cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah, uh. About your cold gun." Snart's eyes sharpened on Ray, and Ray shot a worried look over at Mick. "I had to dismantle it? To defuse a bomb?"

Barry snorted a laugh at Snart's appalled expression, and then started laughing harder when Snart transferred his glare to Barry. "Sorry, it's just. It's funny—"

"And you." Snart gestured at Barry, his annoyance etched on his face. "You even got a secret identity anymore?"

"Oh." Barry looked around the room. The shock on Caitlin's and Cisco's faces made him feel a little better, like at least he hadn't been the only one to consider STAR Labs a safe space. "Of course I do. But we're all friends here."

Snart and Mick gave Barry equal looks of disdain, and he crossed his arms over his chest. "Why are you glaring at me like that?" He gestured at Mick defensively. "You know, we fought _aliens_ together last year. You got a _pardon_."

"You promptly blew it on petty larceny in Aruba," Caitlin said, censure creeping into her voice, "but you're not wanted for anything the the U.S."

"And _you_—" Barry pointed at Leonard, a cocky grin pulling at his lips. "_You_ died saving all of space and time, proving without a doubt that everything I said about you was _right_."

Snart looked at Barry like he was sucking on a particularly sour lemon, but he also didn't refute it. Barry raised his eyebrows, waiting for a comeback, and he realized with a surprised pleasure that he hadn't lost his place in time at all, despite the stress of his run and the tense, emotional reunion. Today was officially a good day.

"You're so, so lucky, man," Jax was saying to Snart, "This is crazy."

"Can't wait to have you back on the Waverider," Ray added.

Sara laughed. "You won't believe what Rip's gotten his stupid head in this time—"

"Wait." Barry didn't realize he'd spoken out loud until Snart looked over at him. "No, I just mean. Are you leaving? Already?"

Snart and Barry stared at each other silently, and Barry was about to turn away, head home to get real clothes on, when Cisco stepped away, raising a hand to his communicator.

"Uh, hate to break up the silent communion thing you're doing, but we've got trouble."

Barry rubbed the back of his neck. So much for breakfast. He'd better grab some of those bars for extra fuel later. "There's always trouble."

"Barry, if you move one inch from that bed, I'm not going to be pleasant, do you understand?" Caitlin tightened her hands into fists, her eyes turning crystalline, and Barry raised his hands helplessly.

"Wally's on Earth 2 with Jesse right now. I can't let Cisco go alone."

"Oh, I can help!" Nate jolted away from the wall he was leaning against. "I know Central like the back of my hand. I can back up Cisco, no problem."

Barry opened his mouth to protest, but Caitlin pushed him back down on the bed.

"It's just an accident," Cisco promised Barry as he slid his goggles on. "I'm sure we can take care of it." He opened a portal, and Nate armored up, grinning as he followed Cisco into the action.

"I don't want another IV, okay?" Barry waited until Caitlin's eyes went back to her normal dark brown. "I'll get breakfast, go to work, you can call me if you need me."

"Breakfast." Caitlin gave Barry a stern look as he eased out of the bed.

"I promise." 

Caitlin shook her head and went into the cortex to keep an eye on the situation with Cisco and Nate, leaving Barry standing awkwardly in the medical room, staring at the Legends. "It's good to see you guys." Barry looked at Snart again, struck all over again that he was alive for real, that he didn't have to send him back into the timestream to die. "I… uh… if you do decide to leave again? Goodbyes are nice."

Embarrassed and awkward, Barry swallowed back the rest of his words and flashed out of the cortex to head home. He'd make breakfast and then check in with Caitlin to find out what Cisco and Nate were handling.

He couldn't wait until Wally came back, if he were honest. It was nice to have another speedster for backup.

~*~

The 'trouble' had been a six car pile up on the freeway, and between Nate's strength and Cisco's vibes, there were no fatalities. He made it to the scene with Eddie to check the basic forensics, and while he was there, he received a text from Caitlin that simply said, _They're gone_.

He tried not to be disappointed that Snart only stayed a few hours before disappearing again.

He focused on the scene of the accident, getting the tread of the tires, following the story that laid out before him in crumpled metal and burned rubber. The leading car had… blown a tire? Struck something? Careened out of control and spun across the other two lanes before crashing into the guardrail.

The second car had swerved to miss the first one and collided with the tailend. The third car hit their brakes too late, and the separate treads identifying the remaining three cars were simple to pick out.

"Are you getting closer to finished, Barr?" Eddie asked. "Transpo's asking when the road's going to reopen."

"I'm mostly done here," Barry said, nodding, "but were you able to find the thing that started the accident in the first place?"

Eddie shook his head. "Witness statement says she caught a flash of something out of the corner of her eye, and then the tire went out."

"Something fast, then." Barry frowned and stepped closer to Eddie, lowering his voice. "Maybe it's attached to the Samuroid? The thing that you brought me back to stop. I need to take a look at the car."

Eddie shot a look right and left. "It's been towed already." He looked around again and took out his phone, texting Barry the name of the towing company they used. "I'm sure you can get there before the owner pays the fee."

"Thanks," Barry said, and hefted his kit of equipment and samples, settling the strap in place on his shoulder. "I'm going to take these back to the lab and get started on the analysis for the report—"

Iris was beautiful, even reclined back in the hospital bed, her skin damp with sweat.

"You did it, babe." Eddie leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple. "They're beautiful."

Barry turned and looked at Joe, smiling tremulously at the dampness of Joe's eyes, almost overwhelmed with emotion.

"They're gonna need more diapers," Barry said, and Joe laughed, wiping his eyes.

—"Barr? You okay?"

Barry snapped to attention. "Yeah, sorry. Mind wandering on all the, you know. Flash stuff."

Eddie patted Barry's shoulder. "Got you. Say no more."

"See you back at CCPD," Barry said, and he flagged down one of the emergency vehicles leaving the scene. He couldn't run with his samples, not without damaging them due to the velocity, and it drove him crazy, moving so slowly when he had so much left to do. 

He eventually made it to the lab and carefully unpacked his case, setting aside each plastic baggie on his desk until he could return to it later. Once that was taken care of, he raced to the towing company and showed his credentials to get access to the car that had originally caused the accident.

It was blue, the paint scraped all along the passenger side. The fender was gone, but what he was looking for, he found on the right front tire—a ragged rip in the rubber. It might have been a small entrance that stretched with each revolution of the wheel, so he squinted and craned his head to get a better look. He took two or three pictures, even though the officer that had responded to the call had taken some of their own. He could run it through their information at STAR. If they were lucky, maybe they'd even pull out some new leads to follow.

Things were sitting in the back of Barry's mind, but he just didn't have enough information to piece everything together yet. It was frustrating, and he stared at the damage for a minute longer, wishing it would all magically come together in some kind of Eureka moment.

It didn't, of course.

Barry picked himself up a couple of sandwiches for lunch and went back to the lab, labeling and taking samples for further analysis. It was one of the few jobs that he didn't dare rush, and he and Julian worked together in an amiable quiet. He checked in with Cisco and Caitlin after his shift ended, just to make sure they didn't need him, and then stopped by Coast City to get a couple of pizzas for dinner.

Peace. Quiet. Pizza and Netflix. It sounded like the kind of day he would've had pre-speed powers.

~*~

Barry opened his eyes and discovered he'd fallen asleep on the sofa. No dreams, but he'd fallen asleep while watching the latest episodes of _Game of Thrones_, and he wondered how much he'd missed. He couldn't even remember the last thing he'd seen. The worst part about having the shows sped up for him was how to find his way back to where he'd left off. He hated restarting something—it was a waste of time. 

He yawned and stretched, and then reached for the remote control to turn off the TV. He didn't know how late it was or what woke him up to begin with, and he looked around, trying to guess if there was anything out of place.

"Hello?"

He took a quick run around his apartment, checking the closets and turning on all the lights, but he was alone.

"Huh. Okay." He turned out the extra lights he'd turned on, and jerked himself back toward the front door when he heard a knock. He ran a hand through his hair and snorted in disbelief. Waking up from a dead sleep made him dumb, he should've looked out the door first.

He flashed over to the door and opened it.

"Hey." Snart stood in his doorway, a bag hanging carelessly over one shoulder, and he leaned against the doorjamb, lit dramatically by the hall light. As if he'd never died. He wasn't even burned anymore.

Barry blinked. "Hey." He cleared his throat, unable to look away. "I thought you went back to the Waverider."

Snart shrugged. "A little too crowded for my taste."

They stood in silence for another minute, Snart's expression indecipherable. Barry shifted awkwardly from side to side. Was Snart really here? At his apartment? He was used to the Speed Force messing with his head after his time away from Central—and that's what he was calling it now, he guessed. His Speed Force sabbatical—If the dreams had stopped, did that just mean he'd started resorting to wishful thinking?

"Really going to make me ask, Barry?" Snart pulled himself straight, and Barry shook his head, stepping aside to let Snart in. 

At the last minute, he dashed through the house, grabbing clothes from the floor and putting them in the hamper where they belonged, tidying papers and making sure his kitchen was clean before Snart took more than a step or two inside.

Snart smirked when Barry returned to the spot he'd left, and looked around. "Did you just clean up for me?"

"No," Barry said baldly as he closed the door behind Snart. "Wanna tell me why you're here?"

Snart averted his gaze and set his duffle bag down beside the couch. "Stopped by the medbay on the Waverider, and Gideon healed me. Made me a couple of things to wear." He shrugged. "Still dead, though. Don't have access to my money, all my safe houses are burned, and there's no way in hell I'm sharing an apartment with my sister and her new girlfriend."

"So you came to me," Barry said, oddly touched.

Snart's shoulders tensed, and he looked around again, focusing on the front door he came from, on the balcony that led to the fire escape below. "I can leave if you want."

Barry shrugged, slow and casual, like it didn't really matter to him what Snart was going to do. "I can't say I'll mind the company. My couch is available, and I've got veggie pizza, if you're hungry." He gestured at Snart's bag, darting another look at Snart's face. "Are you staying for a while? Because I could, I dunno, move some of my stuff over in my closet."

Snart narrowed his eyes at Barry—it was a little awkward, and Barry wondered if there was something else he was supposed to say.

"That's it?" Snart asked. "I show up at your apartment and you just let me in? That easy?"

"It could be," Barry said quietly. He looked away, down at his sofa. 

He couldn't force the words out, couldn't bring himself to describe what it felt like, to have left Snart behind in Siberia even though he knew Snart would be gone in the end. How often he'd wished to come into his home and see Snart sitting there like a creeper. Even that much would have left Barry a little lighter. He missed the old days so much, when everything was lighter. Before Thawne, before he had to face himself and see what would have happened if he'd let his pain get the better of him.

"Okay." Snart took a deep breath. "Okay."

"And if you _do_ want to talk about anything—"

"I don't."

"Okay." Barry nodded. "I can wait." He looked around his front room one more time. "When you're tired, let me know and I'll get blankets."

"I think I can manage on my own, kid."

"Right." Barry rubbed his hands on his jeans. "Well, like I said, pizza there if you want any, and I've also got the first episode of the new Star Trek, if you're up for it."

Snart straightened, and there was a flicker of blue in the air as Snart's exhaustion vanished. He jerked back toward Barry with fierce attention. "There's new Trek?"

Barry grinned and cocked his head in invitation before he flashed back to his seat on the sofa, kicking his feet up onto his coffee table as he grabbed the remote control he'd just put down. He didn't look at Snart again, but when Snart sat down next to him and snagged a slice of veggie pizza from one of the open boxes, it felt very much like a victory.

~*~

Barry groaned unhappily when his alarm started beeping, and he flailed at his nightstand to smack the snooze button. In the next second, he opened his eyes, his heart thrumming in his chest as he darted into the living room.

Snart was sitting on his couch, blanket neatly folded and the pillow set on top, thumbing through a book that Barry recognized from his bookshelf.

"Morning," Barry said sleepily, and Snart looked back at him; Barry could feel the weight of Snart's gaze sweeping from his socked feet to the top of his dishevelled hair, and for a moment, he felt intensely vulnerable in his penguin-patterned pajama pants and red Flash t-shirt.

"Good morning, Barry." Snart's voice was smooth, a little husky—it was nice, and Barry was annoyed all over again that he was a criminal. He was unfairly _cool_. Then again, if Snart was staying at his apartment, maybe he should start thinking of him as Leonard. In the back of his mind, Barry imagined what Snart would do if he ever called him Leonard to his face, and he coughed to hide a laugh.

"You can, um." Barry made a beeline for his fridge and pulled out eggs and a package of bacon. "Breakfast?"

"Are you asking me to cook, or inviting me?" Leonard stood and stepped into the kitchen. Barry could feel Leonard's eyes on his back as he searched his kitchen for clean bowls to mix his pancake batter.

He spared an eyeroll for Leonard and got his pan ready. "Inviting, obviously. Eggs, bacon, pancakes?"

Leonard took a seat at the island counter and shook his head. "I don't eat pork."

"Oh." Barry frowned a little, but shrugged when Leonard declined to share more. "More for me."

It was weirdly domestic. Even though they didn't talk, the fact that Leonard stayed in the kitchen and gave Barry his companionship was more than he expected. It was nice, and it made him realize how lonely he'd been by himself.

Once he was finished, Barry took their plates to the island counter—Leonard's sans bacon—and focused on cutting his pancakes. "Are you staying in Central?"

"You want me to?"

Barry smiled, a small curve of his lips. "When have you ever cared about what I wanted you to do?"

"This one's a simple question. You've always asked me to change my _nature_. We've agreed to disagree on that."

Barry hummed. "Have we?" He shrugged when Leonard glared at him. "I'm just saying, you got on a time ship and saved the world all without my help. Doesn't seem like it's changing your nature at all. Just reminding you of the choices you have."

Leonard frowned at that, his gaze dropping to his plate and he shook his head. "Don't you ever get tired of trying to change people?"

"I don't try to change people," Barry corrected, "but I can't help but hope that you'll make a better decision this time around."

Leonard looked unamused, and he arched an eyebrow as he speared the last bit of pancake with his fork. "Don't you have a boring 9-to-5 to go to?"

"What're you going to do while I'm gone?" Barry asked as he took their empty plates and used his speed to wash and set them aside.

"I don't see how that's any of your business, _but_ I thought I'd take the chance to see what Central's been up to. Nothing gets you in trouble faster than jumping into something you aren't ready for."

"Stop poking fun at me," Barry said dryly.

"I'm a killer, and a robber," Leonard pointed out, "and you're acting like you're going to let me be in your apartment unattended."

Barry shrugged, racing through a mental list of his belongings. "I don't have anything to steal, unless you just desperately need a Flash shirt."

"You're missing the point—"

"—and I'm running late." Barry raced into his room to change for work and then gave Leonard a wave. "I'll see you tonight, if you want to stick around." He darted over to the side table next to the door and got his spare key from the drawer. He let it dangle from his hand for a second and purposefully set it down on the table. "If you're going to leave, don't forget to lock up."

Leonard opened his mouth like he was about to protest, but Barry just grinned and flashed away, giddy over the fact that he'd managed to get the last word.

Maybe his apartment would be empty, his belongings sold in pawn shops across Central, or maybe—

Maybe Leonard would still be there when he got back.

~*~

Work was slow, for once, and Barry bickered good-naturedly with Julian as they took on the piles of paperwork they'd been avoiding while they were working other active scenes. Barry didn't even speed through the reports for once, if only to avoid that twitchy, annoyed look Julian got when he thought Barry was cheating.

"You're looking pleased with yourself," Julian said, and Barry looked over at him curiously.

"What do you mean?"

Julian gestured at him. "You get this appalling smirk on your face when you're satisfied with something."

"Yeah? Maybe I am." Barry darted a look around the room and wheeled his chair over to Julian. "Captain Cold's back in town. After all the… craziness last year, I'm actually kind of excited to see what he does now."

"Captain Co—" Julian frowned harder at Barry. "He's a thief. He's a murderer. Why are you so excited?"

Barry caught himself in the middle of a shrug, his hands hovering in the air, and then he winced, conceding Julian's point with a tilt of his head. "I mean, you're right? But also the last person he killed was his dad, who was actually _really_ rotten—"

"Regardless of the motive, Barry, it's still murder," Julian pointed out. "It's not that I can't understand, with the way everything fell out with Caitlin last year, but—be careful, not stupid. I know you sometimes confuse the two."

Barry rolled his eyes with fond annoyance. "Thanks for the advice." He wheeled back to his desk and turned his attention to the last two paragraphs of his report.

There were no Flash emergencies to interrupt his day, which was a nice change of pace, and when he went to STAR Labs, it was only because Wally was due back, and they were all turning out to welcome him home.

The portal opened, and Wally stepped through, grinning when he saw everyone waiting. 

"Missed me that much, huh?"

Joe grinned and pulled Wally into a hug. "Always."

"How was your trip?" Iris asked, waiting impatiently for her own hug.

"Relaxing," Wally said, and he did look good, well-rested and cheerful. His eyes widened when he took Iris in. "I was only gone a week, are you _bigger_?"

"I'm ready to pop," Iris admitted, pulling Wally down for a hug of her own. "It'll happen sometime, and I can't wait for it to be over, so the whole diapers-and-not-sleeping phase can start. At least I'll stop having to pee every three minutes."

"And that's enough of that." Wally's expressive face was a mixture of flustered and dismayed, and he rubbed his hands together excitedly. "What's been happening here while I was on vacation?"

"Well—" Barry started, ready to go into detail on the weird vanishing meta and the car killing robot, but Cisco beat him to the punch.

"Barry saved Captain Cold and now the guy has dropped off the radar." Cisco looked up from his phone, his face squinched in unhappiness. "I don't trust it."

Barry frowned. "What? Snart hasn't dropped off the radar."

Cisco pinned Barry with a look. "Jax said he wasn't staying on the Waverider, and I haven't heard of any movement since. That's the very definition of dropping off the radar."

"_Or_ he could be out of Central, visiting his sister." Barry crossed his arms over his chest.

"Wait." Joe looked at Barry in confusion. "I thought Snart was dead."

"Oh, you totally missed it," Cisco said, exaggerating his excitement and throwing his arms up in a wide arc. "The way Barry snatched Snart from death and almost killed himself by going hardcore hypoglycemic."

"It wasn't—as bad as Cisco's making it sound," Barry said defensively. "He died outside of time, in the Vanishing Point, so I just… went and got him?"

"Barry." Iris shook her head and put her hand to her forehead.

"Wow," Wally said diplomatically. "And this is the same dude who helped Barry steal the Dominator technology last year?"

"Yes," Barry said, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he stared his family down. It was embarrassing and maybe not _entirely_ rational, but why couldn't Barry relax for a minute and just be happy that Leonard was back before he had to start thinking about all the bad things that Snart could do now that he was in Central again.

"Cool." Wally picked up his duffle bag aimed an affectionate punch to Barry's shoulder. "Can't wait to see him in action."

"You won't," Cisco said. "We have a standing agreement to let him do whatever he does without interference."

"What?" Wally asked. "Really?"

"Well." Barry shared a look with Cisco. "He learned my identity and blackmailed me with a satellite uplink that he'd release if I didn't leave him alone. I asked him not to kill, and he's stuck to that, with one exception, so… it's been a pretty good deal, all things considered."

"Huh." Wally scratched his temple. "But he's been dead for like, two years? And I didn't know about your identity until you told me. I think he was bluffing, man. He got you good."

Barry blinked, speeding through his memories. He'd been so distracted by the Reverse Flash and then Zoom that he hadn't even thought about it. "He's _such_ an asshole. I can't believe him."

"If you don't kick his ass, I'm going to," Cisco said. "Whenever he shows back up."

Barry ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "He's staying at my place, so please don't break my stuff."

Joe threw his hands up into the air. "Are you—

"—out of your mind? What do you mean, you talked to Leonard Snart?"

Barry slid his hands in his pockets as he faced away from Cisco and Caitlin, who were pretending very hard not to listen. "I asked him for help."

"Barry, why would you do something so stupid?"

"Because we've already _tried_ everyone else—"

—Barry jolted back into focus: _this_ Joe, _this_ moment, and he turned away, rubbing his eyes hard with the heels of his palms. "Look. I know, okay? I know. Can we not talk about it right now?" He turned back to Joe, who looked concerned, which was even worse than the anger he had a moment ago. Had he lost more time than just a couple of seconds? Iris wasn't saying anything, and Wally didn't look at him like he'd done anything weird, so he took a deep breath. "I promise. I _promise_ that I will tell you as soon as I suspect a problem."

Joe clenched his hands at his side. "You better."

"Great, Barry will keep us in the loop." Wally sidled up to Barry and knocked their shoulders together. "Since you've got a guest, let me take the patrol tonight, yeah? It's fun on Earth-2, but Jesse has things under control, I was so bored."

"I—okay, I guess?" Barry shrugged. "Be careful. There've been a couple—"

Wally flashed away in a bolt of yellow lightning and appeared over by Cisco's computer. "I'll get caught up. Have fun on your night off!"

"I—"

Iris came up beside him and set her hand on his shoulder. "Don't think you're out of trouble yet. Walk me to the car."

Barry nodded and followed meekly, on alert in case she slipped.

"You've been different since you came out of the Speed Force, Barry. I've been wondering if we were so excited to bring you back that maybe a piece of you was left behind."

"I'm here." Barry met Iris' eyes earnestly. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be than with you guys. You know that, right?"

"I just need you to be careful with Snart, okay? He's always had an ulterior motive motive for approaching you."

"He's been traveling through time with Ray Palmer. And Sara Lance. And Dr. _Stein_, I mean, come on. People change. He died a hero—"

Iris stopped and raised her hands to cup Barry's cheeks. "I'm not worried about him. I'm worried about _you_, because you are my best friend and I love you. Your heart is big and vulnerable, and if he hurts you again, I'm going to punch him in his stupid nose."

"And I'll be standing by with handcuffs." Joe, who'd been walking behind them to give them the semblance of privacy, crossed the few feet between them and drew Iris and Barry into one large hug. "I love you kids, even when you make stupid decisions like marrying my partner or bringing a super villain back to life."

"They're not equally weighted," Iris said immediately, and Joe shook his head.

"Oh, no, no they aren't. You're in the dog house, Barry. I'm keeping my eye on you."

Thanks." Barry shook his head and then safely deposited Iris outside of Joe's car. "You have a good night, okay? I guess I'm gonna do dinner and a movie, since Wally pushed me out tonight."

"Have fun," Iris called out as she laboriously sat down in the passenger seat.

"Not too much fun," Joe said in undertone, and Barry rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I've got it. I'm just gonna—" He finger-gunned to the left and headed back to his apartment, unable to deny how hopeful he was that it wouldn't be empty. He was almost to his apartment building when he was struck with the idea of getting dinner, and he stopped by his favorite Chinese place, a quiet jangle of pleasant nerves.

Armed with food, he went back to his apartment and fumbled with the door and let himself in. There were no lights on when he stepped through the doorway, and he fought against the swell of disappointment when he looked at the side table where he kept his keys and found his spare key sitting where he'd left it.

Maybe Iris was right. Maybe he was a little too invested in Captain Cold sticking around.

"Leonard?" Barry jiggled the bags of Chinese food like he could coax Leonard out into the open just by the sound. "If you're still here, I brought dinner. General Tsao's chicken? Beef lo mein?" He ventured further into the apartment, growing despondent and feeling sillier with every step. "Fortune cookies?"

"I hate fortune cookies." 

Barry whipped around to face the balcony, and it was impossible to hide the way his smile lit up his face. "Why?"

"They're always telling me what to do." Leonard was sitting on the floor in the doorway of the balcony, legs propped up against the other side. His pale eyes flickered over Barry, and Barry flushed pleasantly from the regard, even though it morphed into fond exasperation when Leonard refused to move and Barry had to step over him to get to the balcony himself.

The night was cool, but not terribly so, and the view from his balcony was honestly kind of horrible, so he sat on the floor and made himself comfortable, facing Leonard and looking his fill as he fished the food cartons out of the bag. Leonard's smirk softened when Barry handed him a set of chopsticks, and Barry had to look away and focus his attention on his food.

He wasn't stupid: He knew what was happening. The nervousness, the hope, wanting to be close—he'd felt like that for Iris for as long as he could remember, until the day Eddie shot himself to stop Thawne and they'd almost lost him for good.

And now, here Leonard was, another impossible person, someone unapologetic about the bad things he'd done, the exact opposite of everything Barry wanted, even as the strange chemistry between them drew him in. Leonard was both completely out of his reach and untrustworthy, which made Barry long for more. Something he could actually rely on.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Leonard cocked his head to the side and watched Barry unblinkingly. "Are you wondering why I'm still here?"

"I'm thinking about a lot of things," Barry said, and shrugged, seeing no reason to hide the truth. "And yeah, you're one of them." He reached over and plucked a piece of chicken from the container Leonard was holding. "I wonder why you're here in Central, instead of with Mick on the Waverider or Lisa, wherever she is."

Leonard hummed at that, and then leaned forward, stealing a portion of Barry's lo mein with a deft twist of his chopsticks. "You're getting dangerously close to real confidences, Barry. Didn't I already teach you a thing or two about trusting people like me?"

"You've never really let me down, not when it matters." Barry looked down again as he swirled noodles around his chopsticks and took a bite. After swallowing, he continued. "You betrayed me in the short term, but you did follow the letter of our agreement."

"You're always making excuses for me. I haven't changed that much, you know," Leonard said, shifting out of the doorway to settle cross legged on the floor. "Whatever you're hoping to see in me—you're going to be disappointed."

"You haven't answered my question," Barry said mildly, stretching his legs out and nudging Leonard's knee with his foot.

Leonard raised his eyebrow. "You didn't ask me a question." Barry glared, and the barest hint of a smile crossed Leonard's face before he shrugged and stuck his chopsticks in his chicken and set the container down, looking out past the balcony and staring at the stained stone of the building directly across from them. "I don't do heart to hearts."

"I'm asking for the truth. That's all." Now that Leonard looked mostly done with his meal, Barry shoved the rest of the lo mein into his face and set his empty container on the ground next to him. "I don't know why you have to be so allergic to it."

"When Hunter recruited us for the fight against Vandal Savage," Leonard drawled, slow and smooth as honey, "he chose us because we didn't matter. In the grand scheme of things, time wouldn't miss us if we were gone."

"That's crap," Barry blurted out, ignoring the way Leonard's gaze jerked to his face. "Everyone—_everyone_—leaves a void behind when they're gone."

Leonard shrugged as if it didn't matter. "Sara said it when we were in that medical room of yours. They mourned. They moved on. Mick's settled in with his team. Lisa's left Central City behind. The Families pulling the strings behind the scenes have changed. Mick and Lisa cleaned out my safe houses. They were done. I was a closed chapter." Leonard sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. "I'm forty-five. I'm too old to start over."

Barry couldn't say anything, and he avoided looking at Leonard, picking at a loose thread on his slacks. He only looked back up when Leonard opened his eyes again.

"And there's you. You saved my life." The weight of Leonard's eyes on him made Barry's heart pound, made him want to squirm a little. "I didn't even know I missed you."

They looked at each other silently, and Barry searched for something to say that wouldn't destroy the careful camaraderie between them.

"When I met up with you in Siberia, and you helped me break into ARGUS," Barry said, speaking slowly only because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to give Leonard the truth, "that was about six and a half months ago, for me. I—this thing I can do"—Barry blurred his fingers, sparking from the movement—"It comes from something we've named the Speed Force. It's a complicated story, but… I was there. In the Speed Force. My friends all say I was there for six months, but it felt so much longer."

Leonard nodded, allowing Barry to continue at his own pace, and Barry was grateful for the way Leonard's attention never wavered, even when Barry struggled for words to describe everything.

"I told everyone I didn't remember what happened, because I knew they couldn't understand. It's easier to tell them it's amnesia than it is to tell them that I was everywhere, you know? Every_when_. The past, the present, the future?" Barry tapped his index finger to his temple. "It's all in here. And sometimes I can't tell the difference anymore, and I worry them."

"Why are you telling me this?" Leonard tilted his head as he watched Barry, and Barry shrugged.

"Maybe I just thought. You know, if there's anyone who knows about not fitting back into your life, it would be you."

"Is that why you saved me, then?" Leonard asked, and Barry met Leonard's eyes again.

"I saved you because I could, because I kept having nightmares of you disintegrating in the explosion. I couldn't leave you there, not after I realized I could get you back."

"Get me back, huh?" Leonard tapped his fingers on the ground next to him, even though he still kept his eyes on Barry.

"Do you have to ask a question every time you say something to me?" Barry asked defensively. Leonard's smirk widened, and Barry shook his head, grabbing his empty Chinese food carton and standing. "Don't answer that, jerk. Jeez." He held out his hand for Leonard's empty carton and was startled when Leonard gripped his hand instead, using Barry to pull himself up and into Barry's space. 

Barry's heart clenched, heat prickling in his face when Leonard's gaze dropped to his mouth. He almost couldn't breathe, and then Leonard took Barry's food carton from his nerveless fingers and turned to go back into the apartment.

Barry couldn't decide if he was relieved, or if he should just throw himself off the fire escape and put himself out of his misery.

"Is the Scarlet Speedster missing his Rogues?" Leonard teased as he headed into the kitchen to throw away their containers.

"Yeah." Barry saw no reason to lie, and he closed the door to the balcony, watching Leonard move around in his space like he belonged there. "After fighting Savage and the Time Masters, don't you miss simple burglaries? Shooting the cold gun and doing the geometry in your head that trips me up every time?"

Leonard snorted. "If you planned more and ran less, you wouldn't have to worry about my math skills." He shook his head in exasperation. "I have to rebuild my gun, anyway. Can't believe them."

"Cisco's got a new prototype at the lab," Barry teased, and Leonard's eyes lit up with delight at the challenge. There was a flicker of blue and white, making Barry blink, and then Barry heard the front door of the apartment close. Leonard walked in, the new cold gun prototype fastened to its holster on his thigh.

"Thanks for the heads up, kid. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable without it." Leonard grinned at Barry, cocky and mischievous, although it started to fade when he saw Barry's face. "What's wrong?"

"You—where did you go?" Barry looked back and forth between where Leonard was standing and where he had been standing just a second ago. It had been so fast he couldn't even remember Leonard moving.

Leonard pinned Barry with a cautious, concerned look. "I went to STAR Labs and got my gun. Thought you were just being nice when you didn't immediately chase after me."

"I had actually been joking?" Barry winced, but Leonard didn't seem perturbed.

"Can't resist stealing my way in when your lab is so badly protected. It's like…" Leonard flexed his fingers in the air as he thought, and Barry was embarrassed to find himself watching them. "It's like training wheels before the actual challenge."

"You told me half an hour ago that you didn't want to start all over from scratch," Barry pointed out as he sat on his sofa. You're a world-class thief, and the only competition you have in this city is me. Isn't that boring? Isn't that one of the reasons you left to join the Waverider?"

Leonard crossed his arms over his chest. "All right kid, shoot me your pitch. If I wouldn't help you with Mardon and Jesse, what's going to change my mind this time?"

"I don't think I have to give you a pitch," Barry said, putting his back to the arm of the sofa and looking over the back of it at Leonard. "I think you know you don't have to be the kind of person your dad made you. I think you want to help."

"And I think you're under a misconception," Leonard said dryly. "You think I joined the Waverider out of the goodness of my own heart. I didn't. Everything I did was for me and Mick."

"Maybe you did," Barry agreed. "But Mick's not here. And out of anyone you could have come to while you were getting back on your feet, you chose me." Leonard's shoulders tensed, visible even beneath his dark navy jacket. "That doesn't have to mean anything, but it would be nice if it did."

Leonard stared at Barry in that way he had, like he had discovered all of Barry's secrets with a look, judged him, and found him unbearably naive.

"Fine," Barry bit out. "You want a pitch? Here's a pitch. I want you to see Caitlin tomorrow morning. Whatever it was you just did, we need to learn more about it—"

Leonard snorted. "And become your next pipeline guinea pig? I don't think so."

"Just an examination. I just want to make sure that you're not hurt. Like, really hurt."

"I think an AI two hundred years from the future is a little more qualified than Dr. Snow to be the authority on whether I'm 'really hurt' or not."

"You…" Time seemed to freeze as his thoughts sped up. He was right. Gideon was a better medical option, so whatever Leonard was doing… Embarrassed by how slow he'd been to realize the truth, Barry dropped his face in his hands, muffling his voice. "You already knew you were a meta, didn't you?" He lowered his hands and looked back at Leonard, his chest aching with disappointment. "Is that why you came back to Central? So you could keep me distracted while you settled back in?"

Leonard didn't flinch, but something in his face hardened, and he glared at Barry, his voice turning nasal and snide. "Looks like you can teach an old dog new tricks after all. Congratulations. You've got me all figured out." 

Barry flinched, jerking his head in the other direction so he could stare at the leg of his coffee table instead of Leonard. 

"Here's a word of advice, Barry. If you can't handle the cold, stay out of the freezer."

Barry was on his feet before he knew it, whipping around to face Leonard. "What is that even supposed to mean?"

"It _means_ that if you come at me, expecting me to be different, you've got to be prepared for all the ways I'm not." Leonard flickered again and then took a deep, silent breath, shaking his head and gesturing at the apartment. "You let me in without question because you think somehow I've become a better person. What do you hope is going to happen here? Are we going to play house and fight bad guys in our spare time? Where does this fantasy of yours take us?"

"I don't _know_," Barry insisted, running a hand through his hair. "That's part of the reason I'm so happy to see you. I thought you understood what I was trying to tell you on the balcony. I know what's going to happen to everyone except you. And the people like you, who were beyond the reach of the Speed Force while I was there. It's such a damned relief. I'm not going to slip into the past or the future because I have to focus, because if I miss one moment, I won't get it back—"

"You don't get any of those moments back, Barry. That's not the way it works. I'm not here to be a crutch because you can't handle talking to your friends."

"You're not a crutch," Barry insisted, and he thought then of how eager he'd been to come back to the apartment, to Leonard, where he wouldn't have to worry about hiding his time slips. How happy he'd been that Leonard was _there_. "I don't _want_ you to be a crutch."

"You could tell your family what you've told me," Leonard repeated, and Barry shook his head immediately, a hard laugh escaping his throat.

"No. No way. They'd think I was broken. That being there messed me up. I can't stand pity. I hate it, and I know if I tell them they won't look at me the same. The same way they looked at me when we discovered a version of me was Savitar." Barry shook his head. "God, you must think I'm such an idiot."

"Sometimes," Leonard agreed, and Barry was surprised into another laugh, this one a little more gentle. "Barry…"

Barry looked at Leonard and shook his head again, a small smile tilting the corner of his mouth. "I know you didn't come here just to listen to me."

"Maybe that's exactly why I came back." Leonard pushed himself away from the door and sauntered forward into Barry's space. Barry's heart thrummed wildly in his chest as he stiffened. They'd been this close before, always with the implicit threat of violence, and Barry didn't know what to expect as Leonard searched his face for something he couldn't seem to find. 

"Screw it. You wanna know why I came back to Central? I'll show you." Leonard grabbed a handful of Barry's shirt and reeled him in. 

Barry could see the kiss coming a mile away, and he wondered why he didn't dodge it, didn't even try to change Leonard's mind. Barry tingled from his scalp to his toes at the warm, chaste press of Leonard's lips against his, the contact flushing him hot and chilled with the shivers that ran down his spine. He'd been thinking about it—guilty and remorseful, trying to remember what everyone had told him over and over again, including Leonard himself, that he was a liar and a thief and a murderer—but now that he was here, Barry couldn't resist seizing hold of Leonard's jacket, burning the feel of Leonard's lips into his brain as they stumbled together against the back of the sofa, and he curled his trembling hands around Leonard's jaw, touching him like he wasn't quite sure this was real. The weight of it, the potential had been between them on the balcony, but he never thought one of them would actually be brave enough to bridge the space between them.

The Speed Force sparked beneath Barry's skin, recognition lighting through him as he smoothed his hand over Leonard's jacket, and he shivered with an awareness that was unlike anything he'd ever sensed before. He pushed his hand against Leonard's chest, relieved when Leonard went easily, taking the step or two away that Barry needed. Barry searched Leonard's face, and now that he was aware of it, he could feel the difference between the Leonard Snart he'd saved from the Oculus and the one standing in front of him, all in the way that his banked powers reacted to the air around him.

"You _did_ go back on the Waverider," Barry said, his stomach sinking. "How long were you gone?"

The realization in Leonard's eyes was unmistakable, and his jaw tensed as he jerked his gaze off to the side, avoiding Barry's face. "Long enough to make some decisions. To clear my head."

"You conned me." The fact that Leonard had lied actually hurt more than him leaving without a goodbye, and Barry pushed him farther away, taking the space to steal around him and pace to the other side of the room. "You _really_ don't have any safehouses? You _really_ had nowhere else to go?"

"I didn't lie about that," Leonard said, watching Barry as he leaned against the couch. "We had no way of knowing if they'd been burned while we were gone, so we dropped them. And if you recall, I did say that Lisa was willing, but… she and Shawna are very private. And physical."

"Shawna—you mean Peek-a-Boo?" Barry laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Wow, that's… We were wondering who broke Shawna out of Iron Heights."

"My sister has a particular talent for prison breaks." Leonard's voice was filled with a quiet pride.

Barry looked at Leonard again, unsure how much of his mixed feelings he was showing. "How long were you going to let me think you stayed?"

Leonard hesitated, and then shrugged, like the answer was ultimately unimportant. "How long were you going to think I never left?"

"You're an asshole." 

Leonard nodded his head once in acknowledgement. "Yeah, I am." Silence fell between them, and Barry crossed his arms over his chest again.

"So your abilities. What do you do?"

Leonard sighed and hopped over the couch, reclining against the cushions as he looked up at the ceiling, conveniently making it more difficult to look at Barry. "That's what you want to discuss? Near as we can tell, I can play with people's perception of time."

Barry inched closer and slid into one of the chairs next to the couch and stole a glance at his watch—sure enough, although he thought it wasn't any later than eight, the display showed it was almost ten. "That's annoying."

"It is," Leonard said with unabashed delight. His smile faded when he looked at Barry from the corner of his eye, and he reluctantly sat up. "I'm not… good at having meaningful conversations."

Barry's throat tightened, and he swallowed around the sudden ache. "Try."

Leonard interlaced his fingers and stared down at them instead of facing Barry again. "Two years, and you didn't give up on me. I got to thinking maybe it meant something." He tensed and took a deep breath. "If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'll get out of your hair."

"It's not… it's just a lot to take in." Barry leaned back in his chair and sighed.

"I didn't think you'd figure me out so fast," Leonard said ruefully. "I thought I'd have more time to convince you."

Barry managed a wry smile at that. "Don't you mean seduce me?"

"Is that what you want?" Leonard looked at him again, gauging the distance between them. 

There was a heat building in his eyes that was unreal, and also just a little too familiar for comfort. Leonard stood, and Barry's fingers tightened on the arms of his chair as he watched Leonard approach, all careful movements and frustrating grace, and God, Leonard had kissed him five minutes ago. "Want me to be Captain Cold, outwitting you with only my mind and the threat of my gun?" Leonard leaned forward, planting his hands on the arms of Barry's chair. Barry was taken with the wild thought that Leonard was about to crawl into his lap, his gut tightening with anticipation as his breathing sped up. He reached up, hesitant to touch, and skimmed his fingers beneath Leonard's jacket, resting his hand on Leonard's hip, grazing the belt loop.

"What do you want from _me_, Barry Allen? You were charmingly wistful over dinner."

"I want—I don't know. I—" 

The worst part, though, was that he did know. Barry wanted everything Leonard was hinting at: An old fashioned heist, where Leonard would shoot at him and most likely miss, and not take a hostage because he was too good to need a plan B. Where they could share dinner, tease each other about who won, joke about embarrassing things their families had done. He wanted—he wanted a partner, and the realization was like ice water splashing in his veins. Leonard would laugh in Barry's face if he said that, and he frantically tried to find anything else to say besides the truth.

"Well, well, well." Caitlin's voice startled both of them, and Leonard pulled away as Barry jerked his hands back. No—it wasn't Caitlin, not with her white hair and crystal eyes. Frost. "I knocked, but no one answered. I'm disappointed by the chilly reception."

"Dr. Snow." Leonard covered his surprise with a smoothness Barry envied. "You're looking rather frosty tonight."

Frost pinned Leonard with an unamused glare and turned to Barry. "Iris asked me to check in on you, since Cisco's pulling Flash duty with Wally. I'll let her know you two are getting cozy."

"Caitlin—" Barry pushed out of the chair, stumbling a little in his haste, and jogged after her, finding her just as the last of the white was fading from her hair. "It's not what it looks like, I swear."

Caitlin looked at him sympathetically, and squeezed his arm. "It's none of my business. Besides, I can hardly complain—my track record with the men in my life hasn't exactly been exemplary."

"It's not—" He dropped his voice. "I wasn't going to kiss him, okay?"

Caitlin blinked and shook her head, hiding a small smirk. "Well, he was about to do something to you." Barry shook his head, flustered, and Caitlin stopped smiling, dipping her head so she could look at his face. "Do you need him out? I've got your back."

"No, it's—it's nothing like that. Just. Thanks. For checking up on me."

"Any time, Barry." Caitlin gave him a hug, short and affectionate, and continued down the hall.

Barry was half-tempted to take a run around the city to clear his head, but it was already late, and he was trying to get better about second-guessing Wally. Trusting him to protect the city on his own was a step in the right direction, and they had his number if they needed to call him in. He turned back and steeled himself before he walked back into his apartment.

Leonard was sitting on the couch again, the cold gun set in front of him on the coffee table, and Barry relaxed. He didn't even know what he was going to do if Leonard still wanted to continue their conversation.

"So," he said awkwardly, "Will you come to the lab tomorrow so we can run tests on you?"

Leonard leaned back and looked in Barry's direction. "If you insist." 

Barry smiled a little and something softened around Leonard's eyes in a way that was hard to describe.

"It's late, so I'm going to bed." Barry reached up and ran a hand through his hair. "Can we… talk about all this stuff later?"

Leonard smirked. "I thought I was the one allergic to conversations?"

"That was allergic to the truth," Barry corrected him as he took an unobtrusive step toward his bedroom. "Which totally still stands, by the way."

Leonard waved absently, turning his attention back to the lines of the cold gun, and Barry retreated back into his bedroom, torn with gratitude that Leonard didn't pick the conversation up again, and bitterness, because Leonard didn't ask him to stay.

~*~

Barry woke up to the sound of something sizzling in a pan, and he wandered out into his kitchen with his normal early morning haze. He was never really awake until he'd had something to eat. Seeing Leonard at home in his kitchen, cooking what looked to be a kind of obscene amount of eggs and toast, made something soft and wistful squirm in his belly. If only every morning could begin this nicely.

"You woke up later than I thought you would," Leonard said as he piled eggs onto a platter he'd set on the center of the kitchen island. "There's coffee, if you want it."

"Mmm. Don't have to work today." Barry yawned and took a seat on one of the stools. "Coffee doesn't work on me, but thanks."

Leonard shrugged. "More for me."

They were quiet as Barry made inroads on the food and Leonard sipped his coffee. He was watching Barry over the rim of his cup, and it made Barry prickle with awareness. He'd fallen asleep thinking about Leonard's question, but asking for a date before making any decisions seemed juvenile.

"Thanks for breakfast." He set down his silverware and scooted away from the island. 

Leonard inclined his head in acknowledgement, but didn't say anything, and Barry awkwardly carried his plate over to the sink, just for something to do.

"Is this weird for you?" Leonard asked, and Barry spun around, grateful he didn't have to be the one to break the tension.

"Yes. It's weird! Is it weird for you because it is so weird for me."

The guarded cautiousness in Leonard's eyes melted to something a little more approachable, and he leaned back in his chair, radiating smug confidence. "Good."

"Good?" Barry crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against his sink. "Things being weird is good?"

"Things being weird means you're thinking about it," Leonard said. "Last time I took a chance at someone, they shrugged me off."

"Oh. Well." Barry cleared his throat. He immediately wanted to know who Leonard was talking about, and in the same instant didn't want to know anything at all. "I see."

Leonard finished his coffee, stood, and came to the sink to set his dishes on the counter. Barry's skin prickled with goosebumps. He could feel Leonard's body heat sinking into him, and he was so focused on the sensation he didn't realize Leonard was speaking until Leonard took the step that put him directly in front of Barry, and then set his hands against the edge of the counter, effectively caging Barry in place.

"What?" Barry asked stupidly.

"Are you jealous?"

Barry barked out a laugh, desperately looking anywhere he could that wasn't Leonard's face. "_Pfft._ No. Jealous?"

"That's disappointing." Leonard drew away, his fingertips skimming along the inside of Barry's wrist. Barry swallowed and took a shaky breath, trying to force his heart to calm. Leonard was messing with him, because he was a jerk. That wasn't anything unusual.

"Knock it off." Barry shook his head. "Can you just—lay off the teasing for a while?"

Leonard looked back at Barry inquisitively. "What teasing?"

Barry almost believed he wasn't doing it on purpose, that maybe it was just the way Leonard interacted with everything, but then he laughed at himself. Wasn't doing it on purpose. Leonard knew exactly what he was doing. "You're impossible."

Leonard smirked, and that was more than answer enough. Barry shook his head and pushed away from the sink. "I'm going to get changed, and then we'll go to STAR. Sound like a plan?"

"Not one I'm particularly fond of," Leonard admitted, "but fine. There's nothing you can do to me there that I can't get out of."

"That sounds like something we could test," Barry said, mostly joking, and Leonard shot him a look that was both flinty and challenging.

"I'm willing to let you take your tests. Quid pro quo, sharing the information I have in good faith. Don't try to lock me up. It'll get messy."

"No, I—" Barry paused and took a deep breath, raising his hands. "You're right. I'm sorry. It's not something to joke about, and I'm sorry."

Leonard accepted Barry's apology with a short nod. "Go on, get dressed. I'll take care of the dishes."

Barry hesitated for a second, and then gave up on trying to formulate what he wanted to say, going back into his room and changing out of his pajamas. He was dreading going to the lab, if he were honest with himself. If Iris was there, she'd see through him in a second and he wasn't quite sure he was ready for the embarrassment. Still, he'd gotten Leonard to agree, and he needed to get it done as fast as possible, just in case Leonard changed his mind.

When he managed to convince himself to leave the bedroom, the dishes were done and safely stacked away, and Leonard was standing on the balcony again, leaning his forearms against the rail as he looked up toward the sky.

As if he'd heard Barry approach, he said, "The fire escape heads to the roof. Is this why you chose it?"

Barry nodded, realizing a minute later that Leonard's back was turned to him, and hummed his agreement instead. He waited in the doorway, the morning air a little too cold for his liking, and curled his arms around himself, vibrating in place a little to keep himself warm.

Leonard exhaled, tilted his head right and left, and then rolled his shoulders. "Okay. Let's get this done."

"No time like the present," Barry agreed, and he turned, stepping away from the balcony to let Leonard through. 

There was no warning once he'd turned away from Leonard, just the sensation of someone behind him and then cold hands pressed against his sides, teasing just under his shirt.

Barry jolted, moving halfway across the apartment in a streak of lightning, and whirled around, glaring at Leonard, who looked insufferably amused. "Your hands are _freezing_!" He vibrated once, a full-body shudder, to get the cold away.

"Worth it," Leonard said, and he slid his hands in his pockets as he closed the balcony door behind him and went for Barry's coat stand, shrugging into his navy jacket.

"I didn't think you were the type to pull pranks like that." He inched closer, grinning when Leonard rolled his eyes and held out Barry's red jacket.

"There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me." Leonard held out the coat and Barry swallowed, awkwardly fitting his arms into the sleeves. 

Leonard settled the jacket on Barry's shoulders, each motion tentative, as if he was weighing his welcome. When Barry didn't push him away, Leonard smoothed the seams over Barry's shoulders and took a second to fix the collar. Barry was hyper aware of every brush of Leonard's fingers, cool against the curve of his ear as he corrected a fold, and Barry keenly felt the loss when Leonard patted his shoulders a final time and stepped back.

"Time to go," Barry said, his voice a little too husky, and he saw Leonard brace before he started running, a quick circuit around his front room that gave him enough leverage to haul Leonard along with him.

It took seconds to get there, and he was gentler with the stop this time, setting Leonard carefully on his feet before he slowed down to let the rest of the world catch up.

Leonard had his eyes closed, and he swallowed hard once before opening them, shaking his head a little to get rid of the vertigo. "No matter how many times I feel that, it never gets more pleasant."

"Sorry," Barry said, and he was. Mostly. "Think of it as retaliation for sticking your cold hands up my shirt."

Leonard smiled, lowering his eyes as if trying to hide how ridiculous he was, but Barry wasn't fooled. Whatever had happened—whether it was his time with the Legends, nearly dying for good, or his second stint on the Waverider—Leonard was easier to read. They had a connection, and Leonard wasn't trying to pretend like Barry didn't mean something to him. Now that he was on the inside of Leonard's walls, he felt special, and also very much like he hadn't earned that trust.

They walked into the cortex, and Barry knocked their shoulders together to steal a little of the tension that was making Leonard look pinched and annoyed.

"Hey, guys," Barry said as he walked into the room. It was only Caitlin, Cisco, and Iris, and Barry felt a moment of gratitude before Cisco's eyes zeroed in on Leonard.

"Hey, Barr. What's he doing here?" Cisco didn't bother to hide his disdain, and Leonard settled back on his heels.

"So—remember how I said I'd contact you guys if there was a problem?" Barry winced and rubbed the back of his head.

"Let me guess, he's the problem." Cisco shook his head. "I could've told you that, man."

"He's not being a problem in the way you think," Barry protested, and he raised his chin as he felt everyone look at him. "He's a meta. He has generously—"

"More than generously," Leonard corrected Barry, and Barry shot a glare over his shoulder.

"—agreed to let us run some tests on his powers. Help us figure out what caused them."

"Thank you," Iris said, looking past Barry at Leonard. "Despite our… pasts, we appreciate you making the effort."

Leonard hummed as he walked further into the cortex, the very picture of someone who wasn't tense as a rock five minutes before. "Well, at least one of you has manners. Not surprised it's Miss West. Mrs. Thawne?"

"Mrs. West-Thawne," Barry and Iris said in unison, and Leonard arched his eyebrow, raising his hands in surrender.

"Someone's touchy." Leonard took her in as she pushed away from her console and conceded a nod. "For obvious reasons." He turned away from Iris to greet Caitlin. "Dr. Snow."

Caitlin nodded sharply. "Cold."

Leonard grinned, and then sent a sharp look over at Cisco, taking his hand out of his pocket to wave hello.

Barry rolled his eyes and took hold of Leonard's shoulder without thinking, squeezing as he led Leonard over to the medical bay. Leonard shot him a sharp look, but didn't complain, taking his seat rather agreeably.

In fact, Leonard waited so patiently through all of Caitlin's tests that Barry was suspicious at his good behavior.

"You're just sitting there. You're not even griping about it," Barry said, frowning, and Leonard tilted his head.

"Do you _want_ me to cause trouble?"

"Please don't listen to him," Caitlin pleaded as she took her last scan. "I really appreciate you being such a good patient, unlike some people."

"Ah." Leonard nodded, the suspicious twist of his expression easing as he hopped off the bed and stretched. "You're concerned about me because _you're_ the bad patient."

"I'm not a bad patient!" Barry protested, and Caitlin rolled her eyes.

"I've always been a very good patient," Leonard said loftily.

"If you're ready to use your abilities, we're ready to record them," Caitlin said, and Leonard flickered. 

When Barry caught sight of him again, Leonard was leaning against the wall, casually crossing his arms, and Cisco's hair was in a pair of surprisingly even pigtails.

Cisco jolted up in surprise and glared, pulling his twizzler out of his mouth, pointing it at Leonard. "Joke's on you, Snart. My hair looks amazing in pigtails."

Leonard shrugged and flickered again. When he reappeared this time, Iris' computer monitor had been shut off, one of the office chairs was spinning in a slow circle, and a stack of Cisco's papers had cascaded to the floor. Sure enough, five minutes had passed when Barry looked at his watch.

"Damn it, okay, fine." Cisco shook his head. "That was cool. And annoying."

"Just face it, Team Flash," Leonard drawled as he leaned against one of the empty consoles. "You could barely catch me before. You'll have a hell of a time catching me now."

"Please," Barry shook his head and smiled at Leonard, a little cocky and for once, absolutely sure of himself. "There's nowhere you can go that I can't follow."

"Yeah?" Leonard slid his hands in his pockets, watching Barry with unblinking eyes.

"Oh, yeah," Barry agreed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He let the Speed Force fill him, become the air in his lungs and the awareness that always sizzled just beyond his normal reach. Power poured into him, and he focused on Leonard, aching with the urge to run. He caught the first glimpse of blue and shot forward, stopping just before he reached Leonard.

Leonard was staring at Barry like he'd never seen him before. He took two steps back and shook his head when Barry followed him.

"Your eyes are glowing," Leonard breathed. "You're seeing me. Is it possible for your brain to process that fast?"

Barry looked around at his friends, still frozen in place, and shrugged. "What can I say, dude? The laws of physics pretty much give up while I'm around."

"You really are amazing, Barry." Leonard sounded so genuine, giving the compliment for the compliment's sake, and Barry's cheeks heated up in both embarrassment and exertion. It was easier to speed up, but the change in his perception was giving him a slight headache. 

"Flattery won't get you anywhere, you know," Barry teased, and Leonard shook his head, stepping closer to Barry as if he could see the effects of the Speed Force written on Barry's skin.

"Flattery gets me halfway," Leonard teased, and walked around the room, watching Barry watch him. "Breaking and entering usually does the rest."

Barry darted over to Leonard, to let him gauge how fast Barry was moving based on how fast it had taken him to move, and he laughed, sharing a giddy smile with Leonard. 

"You've got to think fast if you want to keep up with me," Barry teased, and there, at that moment, it was so much easier to see what he wanted, even if he wasn't entirely sure how he could get it.

"What you were saying last night," Barry managed to say, and Leonard jerked, his attention landing squarely on Barry, instead of five steps ahead, trying to discover a way to win the game he was losing.

"Yeah?"

"About what I want from you."

Leonard nodded, his gaze wary when he met Barry's.

Barry licked his lips, watched Leonard track it as they stepped closer to each other. "Everything you were teasing me about. The partnership. The seduction. That's what I want. And I want you to convince me that's what you want, too."

Leonard was silent as he reached out, hesitant again, like he wasn't sure if he was allowed, and cupped Barry's elbows, squeezing gently. "I can try?"

Thoughts flew around in Barry's mind like a flock of birds with nowhere to land. There was no way Barry could trust him at his word, not when there was so much between them, not when Leonard seemed so alien and yet so familiar. But he wanted to.

They moved together, Leonard tugging him forward and Barry following, desperate to touch the lines of Leonard's cheekbones with his fingers, to be kissed again like it was the only way to tell the truth. Leonard slid his hands around Barry's waist and drew them flush, and Barry curled his arms around Leonard's neck without hesitation. Barry had missed kissing, lips and tongue sliding against each other, the heat of another person against him.

Heightened as he was, Barry could feel the exact moment Leonard lost control of his ability, could feel the pressure break, and he was oversensitized immediately, lights too bright, fluorescent and blinding like stars, Cisco's voice rising—

"Were you guys _making out_? Oh, god, was this whole thing like a firefly mating dance or something, I'm _so_ grossed out—"

—"Loud, _loud_," Barry cried out, alarmed, and he was losing his grip, too much information pouring in and the Speed Force was singing in his brain, ringing, wringing— 

Barry reached out, time sliding through his fingers, and grabbed for a memory. He tilted his head to the side. "Nah, you're really not. Bet your parole officer isn't going to be happy to hear about this."

The room darkened as Leonard's jacket settled over his head, and Barry pressed his face to the cool tile of the cortex. "But I knew there was a good person in there somewhere, and look at him." Cisco flipped off the lights, and the cortex went black, giving Barry enough peace to scramble his thoughts together, to push away from the fount of the Speed Force and into himself.

"Do we need to sedate him?" Caitlin asked, and Barry shuddered.

"Barry?" Iris' voice, but not Iris' hands cupping his cheeks and covering his ears. Leonard.

"What you're seeing as optimism is me, for the first time, just not being afraid anymore," Barry said.

"I'm sorry." Leonard's voice was rough, but soft, barely above a whisper. "I screwed up."

Barry shook his head and covered Leonard's hands with his, drinking in the contact, breathing in the smell of the lab until he was focused in the moment again. "I'm okay." He shakily pushed Leonard's jacket off his head, and it hung awkwardly on his shoulders. Leonard's hands slid away, and he missed it. Of course he'd ruin things with someone he was into. He wouldn't be Barry Allen if he didn't.

"I'm going to turn on the light," Caitlin said softly. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah." Barry nodded. "It's fine, I'm fine." Caitlin turned the lights back on, and Barry winced apologetically. He looked over at Iris. "You okay?"

She frowned, her concern written all over her face. "Barry, you scared the crap out of me. Are you sure _you're_ okay?"

"Yeah, I just. I got cocky. I was having fun, and I didn't think about what would happen if I got overwhelmed."

"Yeah," Cisco agreed. "Maybe making out with someone in a speed vortex is a bad idea." He glanced over at the timer and sensors they had ready for Leonard, and he gave a low whistle, looking at his watch to verify the difference. "On the other hand, we lost 45 minutes. I'm kind of impressed by the staying power."

"Happy to be of service," Leonard said, biting the words out. Barry climbed to his feet. Leonard was all tension, holding himself in check like he was waiting for an attack, and Barry was just… done with today.

"Look. I know you've got a lot of questions, but I'm tired. Call me if you need me, but I think Wally would probably jump at another night on patrol."

"Are you out of your mind?" Cisco asked, rising from his seat—Barry flashed over to him, plopped his hands on Cisco's shoulders and looked at him, very seriously.

"Dude. I'm going home. Leonard's coming with me. We'll talk tomorrow. Please?"

Cisco wavered and then sat down with a big, put upon sigh. "Fine. Hit me up."

"Thank you." Barry turned to Iris and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I'll see you tomorrow for dinner, okay?"

"Of course." Iris reached up and patted his cheek. "Tomorrow, Barr."

Caitlin gave him a sympathetic look when he hugged her goodbye, and it brought to mind all the things they weren't able to talk about yet. It was embarrassing and painful, and Barry couldn't wait to get out of there.

When he was ready, he handed Leonard his jacket and asked, "Are you ready to go?" 

Leonard looked at him like he was surprised Barry was asking, so Barry just smiled tightly, snatching Leonard and heading back to the relative safety of his apartment. 

The door swung closed, and instead of facing Leonard, Barry gave in to the temptation of flopping face first onto his couch.

Leonard hovered at the end of it, and Barry grunted, pushing himself up and over onto his back so he could look at Leonard, embarrassment and misery twisting in his chest. "Do you want to go?" Leonard's eyes flickered from the duffle bag beside the couch, back up to Barry's face, and Barry breathed a bitter laugh. "Did I mess up that badly? I mean, it's one thing to be told I've lost it. It's another one to see it."

"You want me to stay?" Leonard clarified, and Barry nodded immediately, confused but definitely pleased when the tension seemed to flood out of Leonard's body. He picked up Barry's feet and slid beneath them, resting his hands over Barry's shins. It took him a minute to start talking again. "It was my fault you were overwhelmed. Figured you wouldn't want me around after that." 

"Hey." Barry wiggled his legs, smiling when Leonard tightened his grip. "Are you running out on me already? It's one thing if you're not all in because I'm screwed up and have issues. It's another thing if it's _your_ screwed up issues making you second-guess yourself."

"When you put it that way, it sounds like I shouldn't overthink it," Leonard said dryly.

"Exactly." Barry sat back against the arm of his couch, reaching for his remote, when he was struck with the seed of an idea. "Hey. Do you cuddle?"

"Do I _what_?" Leonard asked, and Barry shook his head.

"You know what? Never mind. You do now." Barry scrambled to get in the right direction of the couch, slowing down when he saw the instinctive flinch Leonard couldn't hide. He smiled and tried to gentle his eagerness as he settled against Leonard's lap. "Is this okay?"

Leonard's expression was shuttered, as always, but he carefully raised Barry's hand, running his fingers along Barry's wrist in a slow, easy motion. "It's been years since I've touched anyone but Lisa with any… tenderness."

"I'm glad I'm included in such esteemed company," Barry teased—he half expected Leonard to tease him back, because that was just the kind of person he was, but he softened instead, the small smile that he gave Barry proving more than enough of a reward.

"What are my boundaries?" Leonard asked, after Barry had spent a minute or two scrolling through his Netflix queue for something to watch.

"Hmm?" Barry was still focused on the titles crossing his television screen. "Well, we're not having sex tonight, so… above the waist, below the knee? Sounds like a good compromise."

Leonard nodded and then very carefully, as if he wasn't sure if he was going to get punched or not even with Barry's permission, he pressed a kiss to the soft juncture at the hinge of Barry's jaw, and then leaned back, radiating satisfaction.

"Dork," Barry said, but he wasn't much better. He settled back against Leonard, closing his eyes to focus on the pattern of Leonard's breath, how warm he was, how gentle he was actually attempting to be, and he chose a movie, allowing himself to finally, finally relax.

~*~

Barry woke up all at once and wondered where he was for a second—he was faced toward his sofa, his dumb stick legs dangling from the arm. Someone was stroking his hair in slow, comforting motions, and he almost allowed himself to be lulled back into sleep when he heard his phone vibrate on the coffee table. He sat up reluctantly, rubbing his eyes with one hand as he reached for his phone with the other. He looked at the screen, notification after notification popping up from Eddie.

_Barr_

_its time i'm going to throw up_

_we're going hospital_

_BABIES_

"Oh my god!" Barry leapt to his feet, and Leonard jerked up, tense and alert. "Iris is having her twins!" Barry spun around in a circle and ran his hand through his hair, the last of his sleepiness stripped away.

Leonard stood and took Barry by the shoulders—it shook Barry enough that he stopped going around in circles in his thoughts, and he blinked as Leonard aimed him toward the door. "What are you waiting for? Go."

Barry grinned and spun around in a blur to press a kiss to Leonard's mouth, his smile wide and wondering. "My best friend is having a baby oh my god!" 

He left the apartment so fast he didn't even bother with the door, phasing through it and speeding down the road. He wasn't in the flash suit, so he forced himself to slow down before he set his clothes on fire, but that was mostly instinct rather than premeditation.

He was the last to get there, Joe and Wally already in the waiting room, and they grinned at each other like idiots.

"Did Eddie text you?" Wally asked, and they gathered around to share their text messages and laugh again, giddy with excitement.

"That boy's head isn't on straight," Joe said fondly. "I was just like that when Iris was born."

Barry and Wally paced the length of the waiting room, past the other families waiting to hear news, and Joe sat in one of the chairs and interlaced his fingers, pressing his hands to his mouth so he wouldn't fidget.

After hours of waiting, a nurse opened the door, and gestured them in, and they clutched at each other as they found Iris' room and looked inside. Eddie was staring down at Iris like she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and she was, even reclined back in her hospital bed, her skin and hair soaked with sweat.

"You did it, babe." Eddie leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple. "They're beautiful."

Barry turned his head and looked at Joe, smiling tremulously at the dampness of Joe's eyes, almost overwhelmed with emotion.

"They're gonna need more diapers," Barry said, and Joe laughed, wiping his eyes.

"They better not," Wally teased, inching his way into the room and smiling brightly when Iris laughed. "Cecile almost bought out Sam's Club."

"Dad," Iris said, and Joe went to her other side, sweeping her hair away from her face and kissing her forehead.

"Cecile wanted to be here, too, but she has a deposition in the morning," Joe said, and Iris smiled, pulling away the blanket from the baby she was holding. Joe visibly melted. "Eddie was right, baby. She's beautiful."

"She's got Dawn Frances," Eddie said softly, and this time it was Wally who had to look away to regain his composure. "And this fella here is Joseph Michael."

The babies were passed around until Iris started falling asleep and a nurse chased them out, taking the two newborns to another room in the maternity ward for additional measurements. When Barry looked at his watch, he was shocked to see how late—or really, how early—it was.

"Work's going to kick my butt tomorrow," Barry confessed, and Joe laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Worth it," he said, and they laughed again, quiet and relieved and happy.

"Does that mean the family dinner gets moved to tomorrow?" Wally asked. 

"We'll see if the hospital lets us in," Joe said. "Might just be the three of us."

They all hugged and parted ways outside the hospital, and Barry went back to his apartment, still buzzing with residual excitement. He'd forgotten his keys in his rush, so he went up the fire escape and climbed up to the balcony, surprised and pleased that Leonard had left a light on for him.

Even more surprising for 2 a.m., Leonard was still up, and he looked toward Barry when Barry pulled the sliding door open.

"Hey."

"Hey." Barry grinned, unable to hide his joy, every as tired as he was. "Everyone's safe. Would you, um. Like to see some pictures?"

"You want to show me pictures?" Leonard asked. "That seems careless of you."

"Two days into this and you want to tell me you'd hurt babies?" Barry asked flatly. "This is really how it's gonna go?"

Leonard smiled, just a small twist of his lips that Barry would've missed if he hadn't been watching so keenly. Leonard's eyes were warm as he tilted his head and patted the cushion next to him, and Barry ducked his head, trying to hold onto his annoyance and failing.

"Asshole," Barry said as he took the offered seat and brought up the… fifty photos he'd taken of the twins.

"Is that your pet name for me?" Leonard asked. "Because if it is, I need to register a complaint."

"I'll take that into consideration," Barry said, and then he showed Leonard picture after picture of Dawn and Joseph, pausing after each one to ooh and ahh over their little faces.

"I'm glad that everyone's okay." There was a tentative lilt to Leonard's voice that made Barry shoot him another unimpressed look.

"Is that a question?"

Leonard tensed, his jaw going tight as his eyes narrowed. "Listen. Do you want me to be supportive?"

"Of course I do!" Why was that even a question?

Leonard shook his head and very purposefully relaxed and let his arm rest over the back of the couch. "I'm never supportive. I'm usually around the kind of people who don't care. But you do. So I'm trying."

"Sorry." Barry winced and shook his head. "Yeah, I— It's been a long day. Sorry." He stared down at his phone, thumbing through the pictures of Iris' kids again. "I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall, you know? It's only been three days and it's been so… easy. With you."

"Yeah," Leonard agreed hoarsely.

Barry turned the display off on his phone and looked at Leonard again, and there was something about the set of his shoulders that called the lie to his relaxed posture. "I… really don't want you to steal anymore." He raised a hand to stop Leonard until he was finished. "I know that's what you want to do. I get it. It's hard for me to accept that, especially since I already know you're capable of so much more than that. And maybe we can compromise. Maybe we can keep the original terms of our deal, not killing people, and if I need you, maybe helping me out in STAR Labs, too?"

Leonard averted, his eyes, examining his fingernails. "You realize it makes sense for me to renew my criminal contacts. Keep my ear to the ground."

"It makes sense, but no," Barry said. "You told me that you were tired, Leonard. Were you being serious, or was it part of your plan to win me over?"

"Barry," Leonard sighed, "it's three o'clock in the morning. We should have this conversation when we've both had some sleep."

"I'm annoyed because that is a deflection, but also, you're right." Barry stretched and rolled his shoulders. "Also, this couch isn't all that comfortable? I got it super cheap at the flea market. If you promise to behave yourself, you can take the other half of the bed."

"You say I'm the one who needs to behave, but who is it that climbed into my lap and fell asleep?" Leonard teased. He stood, stretched, and then crouched next to his duffle bag, pulling out a change of pajamas.

"When we wake up tomorrow, I'll move the stuff in my closet around for you," Barry said, aware of how tired he was only because Leonard had brought his attention to it. Leonard paused, his eyebrow tilted up in inquiry, and Barry rolled his eyes. "I mean, are you planning on going anywhere? You're already living with me. Giving you closet space is _not_ the weirdest thing about all of this."

Leonard made a noise that Barry guessed was agreement. "After living on a ship where there is a total of one bathroom for nine people, your idea of personal space gets a little skewed." 

"Hopefully we can manage one bathroom for the two of us." Barry raced through his routine, brushing his teeth and changing his clothes in a bolt of lightning, and he left the light on for Leonard, patting the open door so he'd know it was free. "It's all yours. And I sleep on the right, is that okay?"

Leonard nodded as he went into the bathroom, and Barry made his way to the bedroom instead of waiting awkwardly like a creeper. At least he managed to keep it relatively clean—he wouldn't have to do any last second maintenance to keep from being embarrassed.

Barry was half asleep by the time Leonard came in, and Leonard thoughtfully turned off the one light Barry had left on for him.

"Good night, Barry."

Barry smiled to himself as the bed shifted with Leonard's weight, and he listened to the sound of Leonard's breathing for a moment. "I, uh. I'm a pretty restless sleeper. Sorry in advance."

"So am I, kid." Leonard answered. "If it gets too bad, I'll move back to the couch."

Barry nodded, and shifted, trying to get more comfortable without sprawling across the bed. "Okay. Good night."

~*~

Joe knocked on the doorframe of Iris' room as he peeked his head in, Barry and Wally following after him with casserole dishes of lasagna, Cecile bringing up the rear with a plate of garlic bread.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Iris asked, and Joe shrugged.

"You were going to miss family dinner, so we brought it to you." They handed out paper plates and utensils and then gathered around to chat while they ate. They took turns cooing at the twins, sleeping peacefully in their tiny cribs, ready to help if Iris needed it.

"Thank you for bringing me decent food," Iris said. "I always thought it was stereotypical that hospitals had bad food, but now I believe it. Fortunately, the twins and I are doing really well, so we'll be back home tomorrow."

"And I'll be back to work the day after," Eddie told Joe, "so don't get it in your head to do anything crazy before I'm there to cover your back."

"I never do anything crazy," Joe said. "That's what I have kids for."

"Speaking of," Iris said delicately, "how's everything going with you, Barry?"

"What?" Barry shot a look her way—he didn't want to know what she was really asking, not with Joe right there. "Fine. I'm fine."

"And how's your boyfriend? I mean, you _are_—"

"Oh my god, Iris—"

"Wait." Joe turned to Barry and fixed a look on him, the one Joe always got when he wasn't sure if he should be disappointed in Barry or not. "You have a boyfriend? When did this happen?"

"Leonard and I aren't—" Barry stopped and tried again, "I mean, we're not _boyfriends_—"

Eddie gestured with his fork. "So, you _are_ dating Captain Cold?"

"I can't ethically hear this," Cecile said, and rose from her seat. "I'm going to get a coke from the vending machine. I'll take my time."

Joe waited until Cecile left the room and then set down his plate, looking at Barry with concern and disappointment warring in his eyes. "Barry. You're in a relationship with Snart?"

"Weren't they already, though?" Wally asked, swallowing his bite of lasagna before continuing. "Because I don't know if you remember, Barry sort of ran to the end of time to get him back. Finding out they _weren't_ already dating was way weirder for me."

"I'm not entirely convinced that their entire relationship hasn't been foreplay, honestly," Iris said, looking pointedly at Barry.

"What? That's not even—I mean—"

"As Barry's father," Joe declared, "I have a right not to be traumatized by thinking about Leonard Snart and foreplay."

"Look, it's not… it's not that _easy_, okay?" Barry said, raking his hand through his hair. "We're not really dating, but we're not really… not."

"That clarifies things." Eddie laughed. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy not being the only one on thin ice with Joe—"

"Was that even necessary?" Joe asked, and Eddie shrugged.

"You know what they say in the precinct, Dad," Iris said. "You know you're discussing Leonard Snart when the cold puns come out."

"I blame you for this, Barr," Joe said, and Barry helplessly shrugged his acceptance.

"Thanks, Iris. You know, I really appreciate this."

Iris looked completely unrepentant, and she stole one of Eddie's breadsticks from his plate. "This is the punishment you get for sneaking my husband coffee without thinking about me and my own deprivation. I'm not sorry."

Barry stared down at his plate. "Leonard and I are… something. I think." He pushed a piece of pasta over. "Things just make more sense when he's around."

"Hey," Joe said slowly, "if there's something you need from us that you're not getting—" 

"No," Barry said immediately. "No, you guys have all been great. Better than I had any right to expect, really. It's just…"

Barry looked up and found everyone watching him, waiting patiently for him to find the words he wanted to use. Cecile peeked her head in and leaned against the doorway, unscrewing the cap on her bottle. He closed his eyes.

"Ever since I came back, I've had trouble staying in one place. Temporally. It's not that I don't know what happened while I was in the Speed Force, it's just… so hard to explain."

"Uh, dude," Wally said slowly, "we know."

"You… what?" Barry curled his arms around himself as his family all shared glances with each other.

"Well," Eddie began slowly, "You talk, sometimes. When you're out of it."

"I talk?" Barry looked around, frowning when everyone slowly started to nod.

"You don't act like you remember it," Joe said, "but yeah, Barr. You talk. Wherever it is that you go, you talk to us like we're there with you."

"I didn't want to worry everyone," Barry said, looking around the room again, "but that's one of the things I like about Leonard—I don't… slip… when I'm with him, when he's around me. I don't know if it's because he was outside of time when it happened, or if the Speed Force is actually trying to give me a break for once, but—"

"I just want to point out that this isn't a good idea," Joe said, "but as long as he doesn't do anything that forces me to arrest him, I'm willing to let it go." 

Wally started snickering, and Joe frowned at him before he realized what he'd said.

He threw his hands up in defeat. "Oh, for God's sake."

"Paw Paw, you're going to wake up the kids," Iris teased, and Joe melted, his eyes growing damp as he looked in on his grandchildren again.

Barry ate a piece of his garlic bread and smiled to himself, relieved and so full of love that he almost couldn't breathe with it. He'd told everyone what was really happening, and the world didn't end. He'd have to thank Leonard for giving him a push.

~*~

The apartment was dark when Barry finally came back from the hospital, but there was evidence that Leonard had been there—a cup drying on the sideboard, new groceries in the refrigerator, Barry's closet half filled with clothes that didn't belong to him. There was a small selection of long-sleeved henleys, some jeans, and further back, a nice overcoat and a couple of suits.

The light flicked on down the hall, and Barry closed the closet and went out to meet Leonard. 

Leonard paused when Barry entered the room, quirking an eyebrow in acknowledgement. Barry took in the sight—Leonard had black gloves on, and he was wearing another overcoat that Barry was pretty sure hadn't been in his duffle bag.

"Looks like your family dinner went well," Leonard drawled.

"What gave it away? My perpetual blush of humiliation?"

"You're smiling." Leonard shrugged off his coat and hung it on the coat rack.

"I smile a lot." Struck by inspiration, Barry stepped forward and took Leonard's hand, peeling off one of the gloves and taking complete advantage of the situation to glide his fingers over Leonard's palm. "So. They know everything—that I'm slipping, and that we're kind of a thing."

"M'surprised you took my advice." Leonard flicked his gaze down to their joined hands as Barry pulled off the other glove.

"It was good advice." Barry stepped away as he folded Leonard's gloves and slid them into the pocket of the hanging coat. "I mean, I was going to do it eventually, but. Thanks. For the push."

Leonard nodded in acceptance, and a silence fell between them. It wasn't bad—at least, Barry thought it wasn't bad—but it was still weighted, expectant. Maybe it just felt that way to him because he knew they had something to talk about.

"When we made our deal," Barry said, and even though the words came slow, he had already thought of a thousand ways to say this, "you said you had an uplink that would reveal my identity to the world if I interfered with you."

"Yes." 

"It's been years, but there never was an announcement."

"That's interesting." Leonard crossed his arms over his chest, settling back on his heels.

"Ugh, I'm saying this all wrong." Barry swept a hand through his hair and faced Leonard again. "What I _mean_ is… I don't care if you never actually had an uplink ready to go or if you paused it before you joined the Waverider, or even if you gave access to Lisa and she's been the caretaker. I just want to say thank you. For helping keep my family safe. Okay?"

Leonard smirked, slow and pleased, and slid his finger beneath the edge of Barry's collar, teasing the edge of the cotton. "I could get used to you thanking me all the time. Especially when you're thanking me for something as simple as common courtesy."

"I don't think I appreciated it enough at the time." 

Barry's heart tumbled over itself, making his chest ache; it was too soon to fall in love, too soon to melt at the sight of Leonard in clothes that were better than almost anything Barry had in his own closet. That's the way he'd always been, though—running headfirst into loving Iris, loving Patty. He could love Leonard with the same recklessness, and he swallowed against the fullness of his emotion, moving into Leonard's space and dropping his forehead to Leonard's shoulder. He smelled good, too; sweet and woodsy. Damn him.

Barry raised his head, opening his eyes; it was a discovery to find Leonard's face so close to his and Barry wanted to memorize everything. Leonard's long, dark eyelashes. The pale cut of his eyes, blue as spring water. There wasn't anything about Leonard that Barry didn't want, so he leaned closer and tilted his head, breathing a featherlight kiss to Leonard's mouth.

Leonard cupped the back of Barry's neck and curled his fingers into Barry's hair, holding him in place. If it was an invitation Barry was taking it, and he moved forward, pressing Leonard against the wall.

Leonard grinned against Barry's mouth. "That thankful, huh?"

"I'll show you thankful." Barry rested his forearm beside Leonard's head and kissed him again, the way he'd been craving, the way Leonard had kissed him in the lab. Leonard reached out and anchored his hands on Barry's waist, firm and reassuring; the warmth of his body heat bled through Barry's shirt and made him tingle from head to toe. Time blurred for him as he lost himself in their kiss, in the slow slide of their lips and tongues.

Leonard squeezed his sides and pushed him back—Barry licked his lips and opened his eyes; Leonard's mouth was red and swollen, his cheeks flushed, and Barry wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss him again.

"Hold it, cowboy." Leonard patted the small of Barry's back, but kept them firmly apart. "Not everyone has super healing."

"Sorry." Barry tried to catch his breath. "Did I kiss you too much?"

"Maybe a little." Leonard squeezed Barry's sides again and let him go. "It's a good problem to have."

"I like having you here," Barry said, just in case Leonard didn't know.

"I like being here," Leonard shot Barry another look from beneath his eyelashes, like he wasn't sure how Barry would take it, like he was a dumbass who didn't know Barry was thrilled.

Barry grinned, reaching up and tracing the edge of Leonard's ear with his fingertips. "This… we could really work, couldn't we?"

"You've always been a hell of an optimist." Leonard rolled his eyes and batted Barry's hand away, scratching at the spot Barry had just touched.

"That optimism brought you back to life, you know. You should appreciate it." Barry stepped away and reached for Leonard's hand, pulling him along. "Did you have dinner?"

"I did." He indulgently let Barry arrange them on the couch, with Barry stretching his legs out over the cushions and leaning against Leonard's side. "I went shopping with Lisa."

"That's where all the new clothes came from." Barry nodded in acknowledgement. "I'm glad you spent some time reconnecting."

"Thanks." 

Barry let his head fall back onto Leonard's shoulder, closing his eyes. He was comfortable enough to nap here if he could convince Leonard to stay where he was.

"What are we doing?" There was enough wry bemusement in Leonard's voice that Barry stayed where he was, even though he reached down to poke Leonard's thigh in punishment for making him spell it out.

"I know you're not really comfortable with touching." Barry opened his eyes and took Leonard's hand again, running his fingers over the heel of Leonard's palm. Leonard's fingers twitched inward at the touch, and Barry smiled to himself in quiet pleasure. "But I want you to know what it feels like to relax. Because you can, when we're together. I'm faster than almost everything, you can basically stop time _and_ you have your cold gun—I think we're safe."

"No one's ever really safe," Leonard said, after a moment of silence passed between them. "We've both lost too much to believe that."

Not for the first time, Barry wondered about the relationships Leonard had formed on the Waverider—he obviously cared about Mick and his sister, but he'd lived and died for those people. They were both so different from the people they had been, and maybe it was that change that allowed them to get closer.

"Have you thought about what would have happened if you never left? The first time?" Barry tilted his head back to catch Leonard's gaze.

"I would have used you." Leonard ran the backs of his fingers against Barry's cheek, and Barry couldn't help the way he turned into the touch, Leonard's touch leaving a ghost of sensation on Barry's skin. "The way you look at me… I would have taken everything I could and stolen the rest."

The words were large and tight in Barry's throat when he tried to speak—too much hope, too much emotion, too much he was putting in Leonard's hands that could hurt him if Leonard had a change of heart— "And now?"

"Now?" Leonard caught Barry's gaze, and something in him seemed to soften. Barry yearned to see Leonard like that, always. "Now, I want you to keep looking at me like that forever."

Barry's eyes prickled, and he interlaced their fingers, keeping Leonard's hand cupped around his cheek. "Now see? I don't think you're so bad at this romance thing after all."

~*~

Cisco and Barry had been studiously avoiding each other's eyes for the last hour; Cisco stared at his computer console, chewing on a vine of red twizzler, while Barry pretended to read _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ for the tenth time in the last five minutes.

They both turned when Julian walked into the cortex, and he arched an eyebrow, frowning a little at the air of desperation that surrounded them.

"Do I want to ask?"

"Nothing to ask," Cisco said immediately.

"We're just Team Flash on a slow Tuesday," Barry agreed, staring down at his page. "No weirdness at all."

"Right," Julian said, clearly taking the high road and leaving them to be awkward, "Brilliant. Keep at it." He walked across the room and rifled through a manila folder, pulling out a sheet of paper and scanning it. "Ah. Thought so."

"What's up?" Barry asked, desperate to have something to break the awkward tension between him and Cisco.

"I was looking through the evidence we managed to get on the Samurai android and wanted to compare it to what caused the accident the other day. I don't think they were caused by the same thing."

"Wait, was that a theory?"

"We know better than to assume they're separate occurrences," Julian pointed out. "It's convenient to have things that aren't linked together, but we can't always take that for granted with Flash related-business."

Barry sighed. "You do remember that I'm in forensics with you, right?"

Julian smirked and bumped Barry's chair. "There's no harm in getting a second opinion, Allen."

"What's the point of getting a second opinion if you're just going to ignore it?" Cisco asked pointedly.

Julian rolled his eyes. "Obviously, you get a second opinion so you can make an informed decision about your next…" He frowned, and then looked between Cisco and Barry again. "Oh. This isn't about cross-referencing cases, is it?"

"Someone, despite being told that it's a bad idea by literally everyone who knows, has decided dating Leonard Snart is his new mission in life."

"That's not even true," Barry protested. "I can't explain it, okay? He's different when it's just me."

"Because he knows how to manipulate you, and it isn't as easy when the people who love you are around." Cisco folded his arms over his chest. "It's always been one long con for him, and the longer you fall for it, the more it's going to hurt you when he shows his true colors."

Barry threw up his hands. "That's my choice, isn't it?"

Cisco shook his head. "Not when he's an actual supervillain and there's more at risk than just your feelings."

Their phones all simultaneously sounded with the meta warning app, and Julian turned toward one of the consoles, his fingers running over the keyboard. "Oh, good, a meta. 16th and Johnston, Barry."

Barry gratefully took the out, flashing into his suit and leaving the lab in a crackle of lightning.

The run would give him a few seconds of peace and quiet, at least. And who was Cisco to judge him, anyway? Barry had never questioned Cisco's feelings for Lisa—the least Cisco could do was show him the same respect. He skidded to a stop on the corner of the street and tapped his radio.

"I'm here. What've we got?"

"Somewhere to your left," Cisco responded. "It's the same meta signature we caught around Heatmonger, so be careful."

"Got it." Barry sped around the block to try and get an idea of the perimeter and found a person in what looked like camo and a combat vest. Their face was covered, and Barry slowed down just enough to try and get a closer look.

Something hit Barry's ankle, and he looked down, tripping over what looked like a smoke bomb or flash bang, and then he was hit by a wall of sonic force so hard it knocked him head over heels, slamming him into the far wall of the alleyway he'd just passed. His ears were ringing, and he could barely catch his breath, gasping for air as he slid down the wall and onto his hands and knees.

"Barry? Barry!"

Cisco's voice sounded tinny in Barry's ringing ears, and Barry shook his head to clear it, swallowing back a mouthful of blood as he realized he'd bit his tongue.

Cisco vibed a portal in front of Barry, shooting out a beam of dimensional energy from his palm as he stepped out, and he crouched by Barry's side, his hands hovering over Barry's back.

"Meta," Barry panted, and Cisco turned away, staring at where the other person had been standing.

"They're already gone. They took off the moment they saw me. But I think I can…" Cisco raised his hand, curling his fingers in the air, and there was a shimmer of something above them.

Barry sprang into action, jumping up the narrow alley walls in a volley of high speed parkour, and he leapt into the air to grab whatever it was out of the sky like an unfortunate bird. He landed on the roof of the next building, and Cisco joined him a moment later.

"It's a drone." They stared at it for a moment, and the spinning blades that had been keeping it aloft slowed, and the red recording light faded. Barry shrugged, mystified, and gave it to Cisco.

"It's ours now, baby." Cisco vibed them back to the labs, and headed over to his engineering space, setting it on the table and covering it with a piece of cloth. "Okay. New rules. I'm gonna get this thing dismantled, see if we can find out where it came from. Until I say it's safe, we're going to be secret identities all the time, okay?"

Barry nodded. "We can modify one of the extra rooms and stick it in there. If you can get us a serial number or item make, we can track down the manufacturer."

"Sounds good." Cisco removed his visor for a moment and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It worries me, though. Someone's been tracking you, and it looks like maybe that meta is connected."

"So who knows how long they've been watching." Barry folded his arms over his chest and nodded. "That meta—it used sound and some sort of riot gear to knock me over. They looked military."

"General Eiling's out of the way, though."

Barry shrugged. "Maybe someone else has taken his place."

"Great." Cisco sighed and ran a hand through his hair before he replaced his glasses. "Yeah, this is just… great."

"I'll get Kid Flash in here to help you with mods," Barry said after they shared a moment of frustrated silence. "Then we'll see what we can track down."

"That's a start," Cisco agreed. He looked around, peeked his head into one of the rooms to see if it was viable, and carried the drone to its temporary home, shutting the door behind him.

Barry texted Wally the situation, and for good measure, he sat down at one of the computers and typed a list of rules to follow while the drone was in the cortex.

He'd tape copies all over the lab if he had to. It was better to be safe than sorry.

~*~

Barry stumbled into his apartment, already exhausted from the Flash business with the drones and going over the scene of a robbery gone wrong. He needed a long shower and dinner.

He paused just inside the threshold of the door, breathing in the air. Leonard was cooking something, chicken maybe, and Barry's stomach growled in anticipation. 

"Hey."

Leonard glanced at Barry over his shoulder, a hint of a smile crossing his lips. His shirt sleeves were rolled up, and he was stirring something in a pot on the stove. He looked like all of Barry's domestic fantasies all in one neat package, and Barry had to stop and stare for a moment to fully appreciate it. He'd been half kidding in a way that wasn't kidding at all when he told Leonard he wanted to be romanced, and boy, was he delivering.

"Go get cleaned up," Leonard said.

Barry nodded, walking past the dining table, which was decorated with his best dishes, the only two wine glasses in his apartment, and candles. It was sweet, and Barry stopped where he was to look back at Leonard again, his chest filled with a warmth that was growing all too familiar.

It didn't matter if Cisco was right. Not if Barry got to feel like this for a little while longer.

Barry took his time in the shower, letting the water spray work out some of his tight muscles, and then dressed in sweats and a STAR Lab sweatshirt, following the smell of dinner back into the kitchen. He changed his mind on his clothes and darted back into his bedroom, pulling on his nice jeans and a red button up. In the next second, he was walking back into the kitchen.

Leonard gave Barry a look, the hint of a smile around his mouth, and Barry had to kiss him, heartfelt and chaste, just enough to prove to himself that Leonard was actually there.

Leonard licked his lips when Barry pulled away, and it made Barry want to kiss him all over again. "Day was that bad?"

"It was… something," Barry sighed.

Leonard bumped Barry with his hip. "Why don't you light the candles and take a seat. I'll be done in a minute."

"Sounds good," Barry agreed, and he took his candle lighter from one of the drawers. He lit the candles and then sank into one of the chairs at the table with a soft, heartfelt sigh. It was nice to get off his feet for a while.

Leonard made two trips from the kitchen to the table, and then he pulled off his apron and took the seat across from Barry. Salad, white wine, pasta and chicken tossed in a white sauce. It looked amazing. Leonard flipped off the overhead light, and then it was just the two of them and the candle light. It made everything a little more magical. 

"Thank you." Barry smiled at Leonard, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering when Leonard smiled back, just a little.

"My pleasure," Leonard said, and Barry redirected his attention to the food.

"I found a drone recording one of my meta fights today." It was somehow easier to talk about it when he was focusing on something else, and he took a serving of salad and pasta to keep his hands busy. "Be careful if you drop by the lab, because we're going strictly by codenames for a while until we track down who was trying to learn about me."

Leonard nodded. "Any suspects?"

"No clue," Barry admitted. "Cisco's looking into it, but right now it's hurry up and wait."

Leonard took a measured bite of his pasta. "I could check in with the Rogues. See if Lisa's heard anything."

Barry nodded and took another bite. "This is really good. Thanks for cooking. Uh. Again."

Leonard smirked and took a sip of his wine, watching Barry over the rim of his glass. The firelight made Leonard's eyes look softer, and Barry's heart fluttered in his chest. "What's that saying? The way to a man's heart is through his stomach?"

Barry grinned at that. "You know you have my attention. I mean, I'm not subtle."

Leonard hummed. "I prefer to maintain my advantage whenever possible."

Barry took a sip of wine to steady his sudden nerves, and he cleared his throat for good measure. "I know you're still figuring out what you want to do now that you're back, but have you thought about—"

"No, Barry."

Barry jerked, eyes flying up to meet Leonard's. "You don't even know what I was going to ask."

"I'm not going to join you and your friends at STAR Labs." Leonard's voice was gentle but firm, and it made Barry feel ten sizes smaller, like he was a child all over again. "I ain't a part of their team, and they ain't a part of mine."

A slow, creeping unhappiness settled in Barry's stomach, and he toyed absently with the food on his plate. "Why do you have to be so contrary about everything?"

Leonard took a deep, slow breath and set his fork to the side with a gentle clink of metal meeting the edge of the plate. "Logically, team Flash doesn't like me. I get it—they're cute and idealistic and it's not my scene. What I can do is keep my ear to the ground and pass along information if it's something you need to know."

Barry thought of Leonard eating Chinese on Barry's balcony. He'd said he was tired. Which one was the lie?

Barry stabbed a piece of pasta on the tines of his fork and looked at Leonard, who was watching him over the table as if he expected Barry to keep arguing. "I'm not bailing you out if you get arrested."

Leonard blinked, and the soft warmth of pleasure in his eyes made Barry flush for no reason.

"What if I get in over my head?"

Barry grinned and ate his pasta. "I guess that's your problem."

Leonard's mouth curled into a smile that was almost a laugh, and Barry's heart rose into his throat. It was love, Barry couldn't mistake it for anything else. His heart was wild and reckless as always.

While Barry was still basking in his realization, Leonard slid a small flip phone across the table.

"What's this?" Barry flipped the phone open and looked at the contacts. There was one number.

"That's for you," Leonard said. His eyes were so, so blue, and he was smiling, and Barry was in love. "Just in case you get in over _your_ head."

~*~

"So I've got good news and some not so good news." Cisco bit a chunk out of his red licorice twist and spun in his chair to face Barry.

Barry crossed his arms over his chest and decided at the last minute that he wanted a Twizzler, too—he grabbed one from the side of Cisco's station and leaned against the desk. "Okay, I'm prepared. What is it?"

"Good news, I tracked the serial number down." Cisco transferred the information to the big display and gestured at the numbers he'd managed to get from the defunct drone. "Bad news, it leads us directly to a newly-formed military department, the Department of Metahuman Affairs. If the government is watching you—"

"Then they probably know all about you guys," Barry finished. He let his head loll back and stared up at the ceiling. A muscle worked in his jaw. "I've got to call their bluff."

"That's a leap." Cisco shook his head. "Maybe we can call the president—"

"And what?" A harsh bark of laughter worked its way up Barry's throat. "Excuse me, Madame President, but it looks like one of your government agencies has been investigating me? How can I help?"

Cisco jolted to his feet. "It's better than this 'use yourself as bait' idea that you've got."

"I'm so tired of risking you guys," Barry blurted, and he bit his lip, wanting nothing more than to take it back. "I mean. No. That was exactly what I meant. Pretty Boy and Central News have kids now. Kid Flash is splitting his time between us and Jessie. Who knows, maybe we'd even have a cure for Frost if we weren't so busy trying to stop the meta of the week from destroying Central."

"Flash, man, you've gotta—" Cisco shook his head. "You've gotta stop putting all this on yourself. We help you because we want to, you know. It's not like it's your fault."

"You're starting to do that thing Oliver does, Barry. Carry the weight of the world on your shoulders." Diggle reached out and patted Barry's shoulder. "You gotta stop that, man. It's gonna slow you down."

Lila circled behind Diggle and shook her head. "Still nothing."

"Flash?" There was a different hand on his shoulder. The voice was familiar. "Dude? Come on, snap out of it."

Barry blinked. Cisco was staring up at him, concern clear in his face. "Sorry. I—sorry." He gestured at his head and averted his eyes when Cisco winced in sympathy.

"You're still slipping, huh?"

"I'm fine," Barry said, maybe a little too sharply. "It's okay. I'm okay."

Cisco opened his mouth, but an alarm went off, and he turned back to his work station instead. Barry exhaled, and Cisco looked at him, sharp and pointed, silently letting him know he wasn't off the hook for that conversation.

"What is it?" Barry asked.

"There's some broadcast overriding the radio frequencies of Central's televisi—oh, _hell_ no."

Barry laughed out loud as Cisco relayed the broadcast to their screens. Leonard was sitting backwards on a chair, his face obscured by the fluffy fur of his hood and his dark glasses. He looked almost congenial as he faced the camera, his hands draped over the back of the chair and offering a close and personal look at the cold gun.

"Good evening, Central City," Leonard drawled, his Captain Cold voice out and proud.

Barry laughed harder.

"This isn't funny, Barry!" Cisco protested. "What's _wrong_ with you?"

"I'm sure we're beyond introductions, so I'll cut to the chase. It's come to my attention that I've been away for far too long." Leonard grinned, short and sharp, and aimed the gun directly at the camera. "Central's due for a cold snap." The gun flared blue, and the camera lens froze before the feed cut.

Barry tried to suck in a desperately needed breath of air, and planted his hand on the edge of one of the work stations, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "He's such an _asshole_."

"You've gone crazy." Cisco clasped his hands to his chest. "Good bye, B—Flash. Gone from this world too soon."

"I should try to thwart his plans, shouldn't I?" Barry took a step toward the entrance of the cortex. "Don't you think it'd be rude if I ignored him?"

"I can't say it because the lab might be bugged but just know I'm using your full name right now." Cisco jabbed his finger in Barry's direction. "Don't leave the labs just to go flirt with this dude."

Barry took another step toward the entrance and beamed at Cisco. "I bet Glider's involved. I'll ask Cold to put in a good word."

"I can't believe you'd use that against me." Cisco deflated and sat in a defeated sprawl over his chair. "Fine. I'll call you if anything serious comes up."

Barry blasted out of the cortex before Cisco could change his mind, grinning so hard his face hurt. He zipped through Central, and for just a moment, let himself relax. There wasn't an immediate disaster. Everyone he cared about was safe, right at this very moment, and he could enjoy the simple act of running in a way that he hadn't in a long time. He threaded his way through the alleys, stopping a mugging or two out of habit, and when he found Leonard, he was a full minute and a half later than he should have been.

Leonard was tapping the edges of the chairs with his left hand, his face inscrutable behind his glasses.

Barry skidded to a stop in front of him, an irrepressible grin pulling at his mouth. "Cold. What if I'd had other plans tonight?"

Leonard shook his head, a sly smile pulling at his mouth. "I decided to take my chances. Looks like luck was on my side."

Barry raised a finger to stop whatever Leonard was about to say next. "I'm gonna take a quick run, make sure we're alone. The government's on my butt again."

Leonard grinned. "That makes me feel like I'm a bad influence. I like it."

Barry rolled his eyes and zoomed through a quick perimeter check, ID'ing all the cameras—of course they were iced—and doing his best to verify that he didn't have another drone flying around after him. Once he was back with Leonard, he crossed his arms over his chest. "Lisa's the one pulling the heist, isn't she? There's no one else here."

"Let's just say I'm more of a consultant. No need to get my hands dirty as long as I've got someone I trust doing the work."

"You know, I promised Cisco I'd ask you to put in a good word for him with Lisa."

Leonard shrugged. "I'll pass it along. Wouldn't be the first threesome she's had."

Barry frowned a little. "It's maybe a little creepy that you know that."

"I'd prefer she tell me what she's doing than risk icing someone she's into." He slid his cold gun into its holster and stepped closer, settling his hand on the small of Barry's back. Barry warmed fast under the touch, but if he fanned himself, Leonard would never let him hear the end of it. 

"When you say it like that, I guess you have a point." Was that airy, distant sound his voice? What the hell—that was downright embarrassing.

"Enough about Lise." Leonard pulled them flush together, pressing his cheek to Barry's before continuing. "Didn't have the chance to tell you before, babe, but the new costume's nice. I approve."

Barry's insides went warm as honey at the endearment, and he anchored his fingers in Leonard's parka, his traitorous knees going weak. "Guh," he managed, and Leonard's answering laugh was softer than he expected.

"Is that all it takes to get you hot and bothered? A couple of pet names and you melt, sweetheart?"

"_Len_." Barry's voice was thin and reedy. He was two seconds away from being really freaking uncomfortable in his Flash suit, and if he didn't kiss Leonard that very second, he was going to die. Barry yanked Leonard forward by the edges of his hood and kissed him. Sparks flew as he blurred in place—he wanted to remember everything about this, the way Leonard's hand tightened around his waist, the way they tilted their heads at the same moment to deepen the kiss; how utterly destroyed he was when Leonard caressed the line of his jaw with the gentle press of his fingertips.

There was a zap of electricity when their tongues touched, and they both pulled away to catch their breath, Leonard smiling and Barry mortified.

"Sorry," Barry said on instinct, even though he wasn't really all that sorry, and released his hold on Leonard's hood through sheer force of will. "Let's go home, okay?"

"You're not even trying to figure out where Lisa is?" 

Barry grinned, slow and sure. "See, I've got this deal with the Rogues? I mostly leave them alone and they make sure no one gets hurt. Besides, I've already got the only one I was planning to chase."

"Making deals with criminals? Doesn't sound very heroic to me."

"I've learned to pick my battles." Barry tugged on Leonard's parka. "And I'm pretty sure I'm on the right side of this one."

Leonard slid his fingers up Barry's back, and Barry fought back a shiver at the rush of heat that followed his touch. "Can I convince you to take the suit home?"

"I would, but Cisco would kill me," Barry said. "Besides, it can get pretty—uh—smelly."

Leonard nodded his acceptance and released Barry. "And people say romance is dead."

Barry grinned and squeezed Leonard's hand. "I'll wait on you. Try not to take too long."

He flashed away before Leonard could say anything else, swapped his costume for his civilian clothes, and headed back to their apartment. _Their_ apartment. Leonard's clothes in his closet, their shared Netflix profile. Barry couldn't figure out how they'd gotten here, but he also didn't want to question it. Every time he'd looked at something a little too close, it ended up falling apart. He wasn't going to risk it this time.

He got to the apartment first, of course. Maybe he was taking things too fast, but he had condoms in his nightstand. Were they expired? Did he even have good lube in there or was it just body lotion? He sped through a quick look at his supplies and winced. His dry spell had been really dry. Leonard would be a while anyway, so Barry ran to a store and pondered the selections. He chose a standard non-latex, just in case Leonard was allergic, and then he had to spare a moment to wonder about positions, when sex was going to happen, or even _if_ it was, and—

He shook his head, grabbed a silicone-based lube to go with the condoms, and resolutely purchased them, pushing his other thoughts firmly from his mind.

His entire freak out had taken approximately five minutes, and Leonard wasn't in the apartment when he came back. He decided to take a shower and get the sweat off, maybe get a chance to let the water take some of the tension out of him. And—just in case—he could make sure he was really clean everywhere.

Barry had just stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist when he heard the front door. He stole a look just to make sure he wasn't about to embarrass Joe or anyone, but it was Leonard.

"Hey," Barry said, unaccountably shy, considering what he'd been thinking about since he'd left.

Leonard looked at Barry, his eyes dark and hungry, and everything in Barry tightened with anticipation.

"Hey." Leonard shrugged off his parka, draping it over the back of the couch, and then reached for the buckle on his thigh holster. Without looking away from Barry, Leonard deftly pulled the holster free. "Let me put this away."

Barry followed Leonard into the bedroom and watched as Leonard took the same care as always with his gun, checking it briefly for maintenance before he put it on the top shelf of the closet, next to the holster. Then he turned his full attention back on Barry, his eyes following the trail of a drop of water on Barry's skin.

"Gorgeous," Leonard mused, soft as though he hadn't intended to say it out loud, and he sat on the edge of the bed. "Come here, Barry."

Barry's heart thundered in his chest, but he was warm and tingling and he wanted Leonard so fiercely he could feel his pulse in the pit of his stomach, his dick thickening just from the promise in those three words. He walked over and slid into Leonard's lap without a word and was immediately rewarded when Leonard slid his hands up the back of his thighs and stayed there, his fingers a little cool against Barry's rapidly overheating skin.

"Got yourself all dressed down for me." Leonard touched Barry with a barely-there tenderness; he drew Barry's skin up in goosebumps and Barry struggled to breathe as Leonard mapped out the lines of his clavicles before dipping down to trace Barry's sternum. When he reached the knot of Barry's towel, he paused. "May I?" he asked, as if Barry wasn't flushed with arousal, as if he wasn't hard and tenting the towel he wore.

Barry licked his lips, and Leonard tilted his head for a kiss Barry was only too glad to give him. He only realized that Leonard had undone the knot holding the towel together when he took Barry's cock in his hand and gave him one slow, exploratory stroke. His cock jumped in Leonard's hand, and the stroke grew slicker as he leaked precome.

He was taken with the idea of rubbing off on Leonard's leg, getting him all sticky, and he rolled his hips as he took Leonard's bottom lip between his teeth and sucked. Leonard stroked Barry again in reward. "I did," he gasped. "I did dress down for you."

Leonard closed his eyes and took one small, shaking breath that Barry could only just hear, and he let Barry go all at once. His voice was rough and full of gravel when he spoke again. "Do you have any supplies?"

Barry was gone and back again in an instant, tossing the plastic bag with condoms and lube next to Leonard on the bed. "I took the liberty of thinking ahead." 

Leonard grinned faintly, a flush rising up his neck and into his cheeks, and Barry was utterly charmed. 

Taking the care that Leonard had been so kind to show him, he took the ends of Leonard's thermal shirt in his hands and asked, "May I?"

Leonard swallowed, and there was something so sweet and vulnerable in that action that Barry let go and kissed him instead. "It ain't pretty," Leonard said against Barry's mouth, and he nodded agreeably, curling his fingers over the back of Leonard's neck.

"You don't have to," Barry said. "And honestly? The idea of you fucking me with all your clothes on is kinda hitting some buttons I didn't know I had."

Leonard smiled and copped a shameless feel, cupping Barry's ass and squeezing. "Let's see how many more we can find." Leonard tilted his head in invitation, and Barry had to kiss him, craved sweetness as if he could prove through sheer will alone that they would never have to be rough with each other. Leonard moved him, up and around, and Barry slid his arms around Leonard's shoulders, unwilling to break the kiss even as they settled back on the blankets. Leonard seemed to share the same need, resting his weight on his forearms and boxing Barry against the bed, each kiss slow and so deep it made Barry's toes curl.

Barry wrapped his legs around Leonard's waist and held on tighter to Leonard's shoulders, pulling himself up off the bed to get as close as he possibly could. He was dying, and Leonard still kept the same slow, damnable pace.

"Chill, sweetheart," Leonard murmured, dragging one hand down Barry's side. "I got you."

"Get me faster," Barry pleaded, and it earned him a speculative look; he could practically see Leonard create and discard a series of plans before he finally settled.

"Saying stuff like that makes me want to go slower." Leonard pressed Barry into the blankets and detangled himself with slow touches—he skimmed his fingers along Barry's arms and tugged his shoulders free of Barry's grip, and then interlaced their fingers. Barry reflexively squeezed Leonard's hands as he stared up at him, drinking in every sensation like it was the first time he'd ever had the opportunity to feel it. Leonard crossed Barry's wrists and pulled his arms over his head, and then dropped a kiss to Barry's forehead, his cheek, the corner of his mouth.

"You're such a tease," Barry complained, but Leonard just smiled, squeezing Barry's wrists one more time before he stroked Barry's chest.

"You already knew that." Leonard leaned forward, worrying the curve of Barry's throat with his teeth. "I'd like to think I'm just enjoying myself." He licked a line along Barry's collarbone, and Barry shivered at the soft fan of Leonard's quickening breath. He rolled his hips and whimpered at the rough drag of Leonard's jeans against his dick, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to think of anything that would help him keep control.

"I… I think I should mention I have a little bit of a—hair trigger?" Barry said like an apology. Leonard swallowed hard, and Barry squeezed his hands into fists, reminding himself not to move from the position Leonard put him in.

"How much is a little bit?" Leonard growled, and everything relaxed in Barry, the uneasy embarrassment fading away when he realized Leonard _liked_ it.

Barry licked his lips. "Guess you should find out." He arched up, brazen in a way he never expected to be, and Leonard smirked, pinning Barry with a look as he raised his hands and pressed his long, delicate fingers to Barry's lips. Barry hesitated for just a moment, and Leonard wiggled his fingers expectantly, his face warm with something approaching affection.

Barry nipped Leonard's fingers on principle, and then worked on getting Leonard's palm wet, licking Leonard's skin until his tongue went dry.

Leonard kept his eyes on Barry's face as he rubbed his fingers together to test their wetness, and then reached between them for Barry's erection. His touch was so gentle, so insistent, that Barry flushed hot, then cold, arousal twisting hard in his stomach. He made a small torn noise, teetering on the edge of not quite enough, and Leonard leaned over him again, biting at his nipples and licking the sweat that beaded in the hollow of his throat.

"Look at you," Leonard murmured, nuzzling Barry's jaw and leaving a stinging kiss just below his earlobe. "That's it, sweetheart. Haven't even moved an inch. I'm gonna make you feel so good, I promise."

Barry squeezed his eyes shut again, biting hard on his bottom lip. The damned pet names really did something for him, and his orgasm swept over him, making him tingle from head to toe as he squirmed beneath Leonard's weight.

Leonard hummed in satisfaction as Barry slumped back against the blankets, panting for air. His hand was still moving, now wet with Barry's come, and Barry whined as Leonard pushed him into oversensitivity. He was still hard, his legs shaking as Leonard kissed his way down Barry's stomach. Leonard wiped his hand on the blankets and Barry raised his head long enough to glare at him.

"Hey!" 

Leonard grinned at Barry's protest and had the audacity to wink before he curled his arms around Barry's thighs and swallowed Barry's cock like he was starving for it. Barry kicked at the air in surprise, a gasp strangling in his throat. It was like Leonard didn't even need to breathe, like he'd never even heard of a gag reflex—he just pinned Barry's hips to the bed and used Barry to fuck his throat. Barry let out another sound and strangely remembered his neighbors, sparing them a guilty thought for all the sleep they were going to lose because Leonard had taken Barry's hair trigger like a personal challenge.

He clutched at the pillows above his head, pliant and gasping for every thrust Leonard dragged him into. It was like lightning all over again, his head full of static and the delirious agony of his body as Leonard forced him right back up to the edge and over. His arms were trembling and he moaned low in his throat as Leonard licked him clean and hummed to himself as if pleased by a job well done.

"Len—" Barry panted, and Leonard kissed Barry's inner thigh, his mouth red and wet and utterly obscene.

"Turn over." There was a hungry light in Leonard's eyes, the kind Barry had only ever seen when they'd planned the ARGUS break in together, and he whimpered in response, struggling into a sitting position. Leonard danced his fingers over the curve of Barry's spine and flattened his hand against the small of Barry's back, pushing him into a sharper arch.

"Please," Barry begged, pressing back against Leonard's hands when he cupped Barry's ass and squeezed.

"What're you asking me so nicely for?" Leonard smoothed his hands over Barry's back again, petting him in a way that made him want to stretch and purr under the attention.

"Anything. _God_. I want you to fuck me."

Leonard chuckled and pressed against him, his shirt and jeans rubbing against Barry's sensitized skin. "What'd'you think I've been doing, honey?"

Barry shuddered, grinding back against Leonard helplessly. "Endearments are going to stop working if you abuse them."

"Tonight's a special occasion, don't you think?" Leonard dusted kisses against Barry's shoulder blades and licked a path along Barry's spine, down over his tail bone and—

Barry's arms gave out in surprise at the first eager push of Leonard's tongue against his hole, and he moaned into the pillows, a series of consonants he wasn't even sure were words. He rocked his hips back, overheated and so turned on that he ached with it, and Leonard allowed him to move, to fuck himself back at each thrust. Leonard moaned, and it was as if it shivered all the way through Barry's body and out his throat, too. His brain was blank; even the hurt of two orgasms so close together had melded into a pleasant ache, already building him to another one.

He heard the pop of the cap on the lube and whined impatiently, arching his spine in a sharper curve to entice Leonard to freaking _move_ already, and Leonard laughed, patting Barry's flank. Then Leonard slid a finger into him, and they both stilled as Leonard focused on opening him up.

Barry wasn't a virgin—he'd bottomed a few times in college, but he hadn't found a guy he was into since he'd gotten his powers. They made everything more intense, a low-level buzz just beneath his skin. Leonard twisted his finger, and Barry rolled his hips against the intrusion, enjoying the small hint of burn. "A little to the le—" 

Barry whined when Leonard found his prostate, and then Leonard's aim was unerring, rubbing him in exactly the right way every time. Barry was going to die. He planted his face into the pillows, tears stinging his eyes as he wound tighter and tighter. Leonard pulled his hand free and slipped in two fingers, slick and warm and perfect, and Barry sobbed, shaking his way through an orgasm that never seemed to stop. Every press of Leonard's fingers pushed him right over again. Barry reached down to tug at his cock, which—fuck, he was still hard and leaking precome everywhere.

"_Len_," Barry pleaded, another orgasm catching him off guard. "I need—_please_—"

"I'm trying." Leonard sounded wrecked himself, and Barry wondered if he were reaching his limit, too. "You're still too tight. I don't wanna—"

"Just do it," Barry bit out. "Slow, I. I heal fast, you've got to just go for it."

Leonard froze behind him, stilling completely, and Barry leaked frustrated tears from the corners of his eyes. "Shh," Leonard soothed, stroking Barry's sweaty hair off the back of his neck. "Okay. Slow."

Barry heard Leonard pull the zipper of his jeans down, and he had to rearrange himself, turning over onto his back and sticking one of his stained pillows under his hips. "I know the other way's easier, but I wanna see you."

Leonard just nodded, and he was a sight, restraint and discipline in every sharp line of his body. His thermal shirt was sticking to his sweaty skin, and with the zipper down Barry could see the damp patch of precome staining Leonard's boxers. It sent a thrill through him, and his mouth watered in reaction.

"I need to suck your cock," Barry swore, and Leonard gasped out a laugh.

"You can have one or the other, Barry. Don't think I've got it in me for both."

"Okay, okay." Barry licked his lips in spite of himself, unable to take his eyes off Leonard's erection. "Later."

Leonard arched his eyebrow. "Are you making promises to my dick?"

"Yes!" Barry squirmed pointedly. "I wouldn't have to if you would just move your ass."

"You get damned pushy when you're turned on," Leonard muttered, but he turned toward the box of condoms and pulled one of the foils out. He tore it open with his teeth, and Barry's cock jerked at the sight. Insatiable, that's what he was. Jesus.

Leonard rolled the condom on and finally, _finally_ settled between Barry's legs. "Breathe," he said. "I'll take it as slow as I can." He turned his head, pressing a kiss to Barry's knee, and then he curled his hands around Barry's waist, looking down at him with an intense concentration as he moved forward.

Barry bit his lip at the first push of Leonard's cock against his hole, the smooth nudge of the blunt head. Maybe Leonard was right. Maybe this wouldn't work.

Leonard stopped where he was, grabbing the lube again and drizzling it over Barry's perineum before he rubbed the lubrication into Barry's skin. Then there was the slow, steady stretch that Barry's body wasn't ready for, even though he craved it.

A pained noise escaped Barry's mouth, and Leonard froze, leaning over Barry and kissing him. It was sweet, and Barry curled his arms around Leonard's shoulders to hold on. Leonard let him, kissing his chest and his neck and his chin and his mouth as if he could take Barry's pain away with enough kisses. He seemed content enough to remain utterly still and keep kissing him, even though Barry could feel the fine tremor that shuddered through him.

God, Barry loved him.

Barry cupped Leonard's face in his hands and kissed him, keeping it soft and gentle. He wanted to appreciate the moment, wanted to soak it in until it was stamped on him in a way that would never fade. No matter what happened between them in the future, it was almost enough to know that at that moment, Barry meant something to Leonard.

Leonard slid in another inch, the head of his cock finally pushing past the first ring of Barry's muscles, and it was almost overwhelming—the burn and stretch of not enough prep, of Leonard's aim, which even then was perfect and making Barry ache in a way he couldn't get enough of. Leonard, the asshole, pulled all the way out and started all over again, guiding his cock in like Barry wasn't going to kill him in a second if he didn't get a move on.

Barry keened, digging his nails into Leonard's shoulders, and he wrapped his legs around Leonard's waist so that he didn't accidentally kick him. "I swear, if you make me come trying to get _in_ me, I'm—"

"—gonna sit back and enjoy it, brat." Leonard's face was red, sweat beading at his hairline, his shirt damp between his shoulder blades. 

It occurred to Barry all at once that he was seeing Leonard lose his cool. He stared up at him, letting that realization sink in. Their eyes locked, and he couldn't breathe, like the air in the room was sucked out all at once.

Leonard curled one lube-slick hand around Barry's neglected erection, and everything rushed back into Barry's head with painful clarity, a perfect mixture of pleasure and pain that sent him almost unwillingly into another climax. He buzzed, blurring as he lost control of his speed for a few precious seconds, and Leonard gasped, clenching his hands in the sheets and hissing out air between his teeth. He squeezed his eyes shut, his breath ragged and shaky.

"Sorry, I—sorry—"

"Shh." Leonard thumped his head against Barry's shoulder and blindly searched for a kiss that Barry was only too happy to give him. "I ain't mad at you for enjoying yourself. It's kinda the point." He rolled his hips again, so careful, and finally bottomed out, hips flush against Barry's ass.

"Wow." Barry blinked up at Leonard in a daze. "I am so into you."

Leonard grinned at that and smeared a kiss against Barry's temple. "Feeling's mutual, Red."

After another pause to catch their breath, they finally started moving together. Barry dug his heels into the small of Leonard's back, urging him to move faster. Leonard's shirt rubbed against his skin, his dick teased by the hem of Leonard's thermal shirt and the brief strip of warm, sweat-damped skin revealed by Leonard's open pants. Barry scored his nails down Leonard's back and grabbed the belt loops of Leonard's jeans, pulling him in as electricity started to make its way through Barry's veins again.

Leonard rested his weight on his forearms and kissed Barry, weighing him down as he rolled his hips in a smooth, unhurried motion that drove Barry up the wall. He'd lost count of how many orgasms he'd had, but another one was building when Leonard found the angle that made Barry moan, punching sensation through him with every thrust.

Then, deep inside him, there was a twinge like a rubber band snapping, and Leonard froze, his chest heaving for air. He dropped his head against Barry's chest and muttered a wrecked, heart-felt, "_Fuck_."

"Did the—"

"Yeah."

Barry flopped back onto the bed, blinking up at the ceiling in a mixture of shock and annoyance. "You know what? I don't even care." Leonard looked at him with narrow eyes, and Barry shook his head. "I don't care. I can't get sick." Decision made, Barry ran his fingers over the furrow in Leonard's forehead. "I mean, unless you want to put a new one on?"

Leonard's throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, and he took a steadying breath before he turned to kiss Barry's wrist. Then he withdrew, and Barry couldn't help the aggravated noise he made.

"Len, I am _this_ close to killing you—"

"Barry Allen." Leonard pinned him with a glare, his voice hard, and Barry's mouth closed with a snap. "I want to be careful with you." He turned away to peel off the broken condom and then settled between Barry's legs again with the bottle of lube, testing the give of Barry's body and making sure he wasn't leaving any of the condom behind.

Barry didn't fidget. He would be good.

Once Leonard was satisfied, his slicked himself with a fresh application of lube and eased his way back into Barry. After another minute of acclimation that Barry trembled his way through, Leonard finally resumed his pace, fucking Barry so slow and deep that Barry was reduced to nothing but moans and gasps and the deep sweet ache that drew him up and over the edge again, his cock jerking as he came.

Leonard pulled him close, ignoring the fluids smearing between them, and buried his face against Barry's throat, his pace going ragged and jerky. He was making small, barely-there sounds that made Barry's heart ache with tenderness. He held Leonard close, stroking Leonard's hair as his hips stuttered through one more thrust and went still.

They stayed silent, holding each other tight and trying to catch their breath. Leonard shifted, slipping out of Barry, and Barry made a face as liquid trickled out of him, though he was too tired to do anything about it.

"I think that was the best sex I've ever had," Barry confessed, swimming in his hazy afterglow.

"You're welcome." Leonard sounded smug as hell, but whatever. He'd earned it.

Barry knew they'd have to get up eventually—the bed was a mess, and the less said about _them_ the better—but that could wait until he was satisfied. He'd get cleaned up when he could move again.

~*~

It seemed almost too good to be true when Barry woke up with a night of solid sleep under his belt. At some point during the night, he'd buried his face against Leonard's shoulder and slipped his arm possessively around Leonard's waist. He kissed Leonard's shoulder to hide a smile.

Being the big spoon was awesome.

"What're you smiling about?" Leonard's voice was rough with sleep, and Barry's smile widened.

"I'm just in a good mood. That's something that happens to normal people, you know." Leonard hummed speculatively, as if he were completely neutral on the idea of good moods, and Barry rolled his eyes. "I don't believe your crusty shell anymore, Len." He brushed another kiss to Leonard's shoulder. "Shower? Breakfast?"

Leonard rolled onto his back and stared up at Barry. Barry's heart tumbled in his chest—Leonard was heavy-eyed, his cheek creased from the pillowcase, and Barry _luxuriated_ in the warmth that tingled through him.

"You can have the first shower," Barry offered. "I can have waffles waiting. With maple syrup."

Leonard smiled, just a small uptick at the corner of his mouth. "You drive a hard bargain."

"I'm learning from the best." Barry gave in to the urge to bend down and kiss Leonard. "Good morning, by the way."

"Good morning." Leonard curled his hand against Barry's jaw and pressed another kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I'm starving."

"Never say that to a speedster," Barry teased. "I'm gonna make too much, and you're required to have at least half of it."

"Noted. Get off, I wanna take that shower."

Barry licked his lips and settled his hand low on the band of Leonard's pajama pants. "I could do that. Or we could having morning sex."

The expression on Leonard's face was a complicated mixture of wry, baffled amusement. "I didn't give you enough orgasms last night?"

"That was last night. Today's a new day."

Leonard snorted and put his palm in Barry's face, pushing him away. "I don't wanna talk about sex when I'm hungry."

"After breakfast?" Barry allowed Leonard to roll away and watched as he walked over to the bathroom.

At the door, Leonard tossed a flirtatious glance at Barry, and Barry flushed all over, goofy with affection.

"I guess that depends on how good those waffles are."

~*~

"I vote that we turn the drone over to the Captain and wash our hands of the whole affair." Julian crossed his arms over his chest, raising his eyebrows and glaring as if he was ready to fight anyone who disagreed.

"You might be right," Cisco said, but Caitlin was already shaking her head.

"The Captain is a civic employee, and if his boss tells him to drop the investigation because of military jurisdiction, our evidence would go up in smoke."

"I'm still a fan of Flash's plan." Wally paced the length of the cortex, cradling a sleeping Dawn in his arms. "They're obviously looking at us for _something_. We should make it really obvious we want to talk or do something to force their hand."

"No way." Joe shook his head. "We'd be setting you up as bait without knowing what kind of situation we were putting you into."

"Cold would say—" Barry barely got Leonard's name out when Joe started shaking his head harder, raising his hands as if he could shove Barry's words out of the air.

"I do not want to know what that man has to say about anything," Joe protested. "I've lived my entire life not giving a damn about that guy, and I ain't about to start now because my son has bad taste in men."

Barry rolled his eyes, his attention turning to Iris when she cleared her throat.

"Look." She glanced between the two of them. "These are our choices: let the DMA make the first move, or we slow their roll. Regardless of the details, that's the decision we're facing."

"I'm on patrol tonight," Barry said. "I'll take the drone and let them know I want to talk. If something goes wrong, I've got you guys as backup."

"What if you do your thing again?" Eddie asked, fussing with baby Joe's pacifier. "I hate to put it this way, but you're kind of defenseless when you check out."

"It's a risk," Barry agreed, "but I'm still the one who should take it. If something happens to me, Kid Flash will have an opportunity to apply what we learn and figure out what the end game is."

Iris reached for Barry's hand and squeezed. "You don't always have to be the one on the front line, Barr."

"You want me to let one of you do it?" Barry asked, looking from Cisco to Caitlin to Wally. "No way. I can't."

Wally snapped his fingers in Barry's direction. "Give me your phone. I'm going to tell Frozone that your life doesn't matter as much as mine."

Barry snorted. "Frozone? Really?"

"You seriously telling me Cold is a better codename than Frozone?" Wally rolled his eyes and handed Dawn over to Iris before he pulled his own phone out of his pocket. "Never mind, I'll hit him up on Insta."

"He doesn't have an Instagram!" Barry protested. "Does he?"

"Yeah," Iris said. "He started it a couple of weeks ago. I followed him on The Daily Flash account."

"We're getting off track," Julian said, "and we're not closer to any answers than we were before."

"I'm going to do what I planned, okay? Just a normal patrol of the city. We can try to figure out what to do later." Barry flashed away before anyone else could argue; he was frustrated and a little annoyed, and it would be better to run it out than it would be to take it out on the people who cared about him.

"Heads up," Caitlin said as he slowed down to check in. "We've got a meta alert on 5th. It could be the same person you went up against before."

"Noted." Barry took off, running toward 5th Street; the area he came to was surprisingly quiet, devoid of pedestrians. The hair on the back of his neck stood up and he instinctively leapt to the side as a wall of shrieking sonic force pulverized the asphalt where he had been standing.

"We don't have to fight!" Barry spun toward the direction of the attack and wasn't exactly surprised to see the same green camo uniform he'd seen before. "You work for the DMA, right? I've got Presidential approval and—"

Barry leapt backwards to avoid another wail of power, and he slipped on something he was almost positive hadn't been there before. He landed hard on his ass, surprised, and was so distracted that he didn't realize there was someone behind him until it was too late. Whoever it was jabbed a needle into the side of Barry's neck, and it had to be something freaking strong, because Barry's sight started to go fuzzy and dark at the edges in seconds.

Len was going to kill him if Iris didn't kill him first.

~*~

Barry stirred, groggy and dry-mouthed, and he blinked hard against the harsh fluorescent light above him. The light dimmed a little as he winced, and the ache in his head stopped pounding quite so hard.

"Where am I?" he asked; his arms hurt a little, but tugging at them only proved that he was manacled with heavy, unyielding cuffs. His cowl was off, and a little quiver of nervousness crept through him as he grew more clear-headed "Hello?"

"Mr. Allen." The voice was cool, authoritative, and Barry frowned, unable to see the speaker from his position. He tried to phase through the cuffs and yelped when an unexpected jolt of feedback made his head buzz. "It's good to see you awake. I'd ask you not to try that again. These restraints were carefully made to your specifications and trying to remove them will be unpleasant."

"Who are you?" Barry's throat ached, and surprisingly, a woman in a white coat stepped up to his side and fed him an ice cube.

"My name is Colonel Jonathan Sutherland." He finally stepped into Barry's line of sight. He was wearing a military uniform—army, maybe?—his silver hair was cut in a short, no-nonsense style, and he held himself stiffly, like he was a man who had been forced into good posture. "I'm in charge of the Department of Metahuman Affairs. I believe you already discovered one of our surveillance devices."

"W… where am I?" Barry accepted another ice chip to soothe his throat, but he stirred restlessly, looking for anything in his line of sight that would give him a clue to his location.

"The McKinnon Army Base, north of St. Louis." Colonel Sutherland was strangely congenial for a kidnapper, not that Barry had much interaction with kidnappers. Maybe he'd be easier to bargain with than General Eiling had been.

Barry squeezed his eyes shut, trying to chase some of his fogginess away. He'd gotten so used to the Speed Force burning everything out of him that being on a sedative felt weirder than he remembered. "I can't. My powers?"

"Yes, we're… using meta power dampening technology left over from the Dominators invasion. It won't hurt you. Think of it as a protective measure."

Barry raised his head and tried to focus on Sutherland. "Why did you have drones tracking me?"

"I'd hoped you'd ask," Sutherland said, clasping his hands behind his back as he paced the length of the table Barry was tied to. "A year ago, there was an energy storm. It coincided with a massive surge of dark matter, and the disappearance of the Flash. Five months ago, our sensors recorded another surge of dark matter. Carla Matheson"—Sutherland gestured at the meta in camo who had knocked Barry for a loop—"was involved in a training exercise near where you returned."

Carla removed her mask, stepping forward so Barry could get a better look at her. She shimmered a little, like there was a distortion around her that made it hard to see clearly.

"She was in the path of your reappearance, Mr. Allen. She was directly exposed to the dark matter that bled from the wormhole you came from, and we discovered that she had developed powers of her own in your wake."

"Sonic control," Carla recited, as if she were making a report to a superior officer. "I'm able to manipulate sound density and strength."

Sutherland faced Barry, looking down at him with something resembling friendliness. "I've read Eiling's reports on you, and I don't intend to make the same mistakes. I'll tell you frankly: If we could recreate the dark matter event that occurred when you returned to Central City, we could evolve the way wars are fought. We have a series of military volunteers, and we'd like to expose them to another wave of dark matter, train them on any gifts that may develop."

Barry tugged vainly against the manacles holding his arms in place. "I don't know how to do that. You can't just _make_ metas. There's no way to know for sure what would happen to those people!"

"Which is why they've signed waivers and NDAs," Sutherland said reasonably. "Now, according to our research, the dimension where you get your powers from is something you call the Speed Force, correct?" A frown tugged at the corner of his mouth. "A little esoteric, but it does get the point across." He paused as if waiting for Barry to say something but continued when he remained silent. "Access the Speed Force once, a trial run if you will, and we'll let you go. No questions asked."

That, more than anything else Sutherland had said, was a lie. Bullies didn't stop when you gave them what they wanted. Accessing the Speed Force for the government would be a one-way trip to a cell in the basement of Metahuman Affairs.

Barry's friends were looking for him. He just had to keep his bravado up until then.

"See, I'm not actually a big fan of the Armed Forces?" Barry shrugged, as much as he was able to. "You have the hugest military budget in the world already, and I'm not going to participate in an experiment to give people powers. Especially not when I've been kidnapped under duress."

Sutherland shook his head. "I suspected you would say that. A pity. Patriots are so hard to find." He stepped away and gestured at one of the techs, who carefully brought over a single metal disk, detaching the lightning bolt plate on Barry's costume and exchanging it with the new device.

"Sergeant Matheson?" At the sound of her name, Carla stepped behind Barry, cupping her hands on either side of Barry's head.

"No," Barry said, nervousness and terror spilling up in him all at once. "No, what are you going to do—" He didn't even get to finish his question as he convulsed, his teeth rattling in his skull beneath the force of the feedback looping through her hands and into his head. When she pulled away, his head pulsed in dull agony, like the time he'd slipped at the station and slammed his head on the bannister. Concussion, and no healing. If he had the ability to pull his thoughts together, he was sure he'd hate these guys.

Once they were sure he couldn't fight back, the techs swarmed the table, setting him up in some sort of harness and transferring him from the table onto a thin cot. He was wheeled down corridor after corridor that all looked the same, cream and mint green, and lines of fluorescent lights on the ceilings.

"Help," he croaked, but no one helped him.

"Stop," he pleaded, but no one stopped.

The techs wheeled him into a long, tall room, and in the center of the room was a piece of machinery, a segmented circle that stood upright and went far, far above his head. It figured he would see a Stargate without Cisco there to appreciate it.

At some point, Barry realized he was no longer on the cot, that he was upright. Techs were hooking his harness into some sort of pulley system. Sutherland pressed a button, and Barry heard a cranking noise as he inched up into the center of the circle, held aloft by the harness that dug into the soft spaces of his arms and throat.

"You are the key that will open the gate." Carla rolled her eyes at Sutherland's dramatic words and spun on her heels, stalking out. "Please remember to breathe," Sutherland reminded him, and then he followed after her.

The machinery around Barry began to twist, moving faster and faster, and there was a metallic ringing in his ears.

His friends would save him.

He just had to hold on.

He just had to—

~*~

Barry opened his eyes, smiling a little as he indulged in a stretch. He was home, a warm, hazy glow filling the air. Everything was golden in the late afternoon light, and he ran his fingers over the couch cushion he was laying on, his fingers itching as he tried to remember the texture.

"My darling boy, you are so sweet and so troublesome."

He jerked up, startling at the sight of his mother, sitting in one of the chairs across from him. "I'm sorry?"

"You're always sorry." Nora rested her hands on her knee, interlacing her fingers. "It's worse, because you mean it when you say it. You always mean it."

Barry rubbed his hand over his head. "Why do you always look like her?"

"You were my first," Nora said, her smile soft and loving. The light glinted in her auburn hair and Barry ached fiercely with missing his mother, even though he'd come to terms with most of what had happened that night. "I cradled you in lightning, and you call me with every step you take. Weren't you reborn inside the Speed Force? Aren't I also your mother, in a way?"

Barry stared down at his hands—he didn't really have a good answer for that, if he were honest with himself.

Nora sighed, and Joe leaned back against the couch, draping his arm over the top as he turned toward Barry. "Your friends were very clever, using that sphere as a key for your release. Surely, you must know that I allowed you to leave."

Barry nodded. "The sphere stabilized the Speed Force Prison, but it wasn't the reason you let me go."

"I let you go because they needed you. And now I fear that my fondness for you has destroyed everything we worked so hard for."

"Colonel Sutherland." It came clear all at once, like remembering the name stripped the fog from his thoughts. He was still strapped in that harness. Inside that machine that was hurting him. This peace was yet another kindness the Speed Force was giving him. "If I'm here, then whatever he's doing is working."

"Yes." In the moment between blinks, the Speed Force had shed Joe's face for Iris', and the gentle pain in her dark eyes made his own eyes sting in sympathy. "But I said this before—there is no punishment waiting here for you, Barry. Only an ascension."

"But I was the one that screwed up," Barry said. "I can't expect everyone to clean up after me."

"You don't have to carry the world on your shoulders," Iris said. "There are others with abilities, others with hearts as good and as strong. Your friends have taken on your battles without a thought. You're allowed to rest."

"I rested," Barry protested. "And it was good. It was like nothing I've ever felt before. But I can't—Please don't ask me to leave them behind."

Iris reached out and cupped Barry's cheek in her palm. "A higher calling requires sacrifice. There is so much good you can do with me. Not just for your world, but for the universe."

"I miss them when I'm here," Barry whispered, and he closed his eyes as he cupped Iris' hand in his. Her hand grew broader beneath his touch, fingertips callused, and Barry breathed a soft, pained sound as he squeezed his eyes tighter.

"I can be whomever you need, whenever you need them," the Speed Force said with Leonard's voice—the soft, private one, lacking the snide Captain Cold sneer. "Stay, Barry. Stay with me."

There was a rippling, watery sound, and Barry opened his eyes, slowly releasing Leonard's hand. White-blue light bathed the room, robbing it of its golden haziness. Cisco and Iris were standing there, searching for him the way they always did, and his heart throbbed with the realization that they were there, only a touch away.

They always came for him.

Barry turned back toward the Speed Force, back to his mother. "I'll come back someday. I promise. I know there's so much we have left to do. I just… Please?"

"There's always more to do. The Colonel used you to open doors that should have remained shut."

"I'll fix it," Barry promised. "I'll fix it all. Just wait a little while longer."

Nora's eyes gleamed with unshed tears, and she sighed, clasping her hands in her lap again. "Of course I'll wait for you, Barry. I love you, too."

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Nora cupped Barry's face in her hands. "I will take back my other gift until you come back to me." She kissed his forehead. "Time is a river once more for you."

Barry was so intensely, wordlessly grateful.

"Barry!" Iris' eyes were narrow and determined, staring into the vortex of the Speed Force, bravely stretching her hand out into the unknown and trusting that Barry would be the one who took her hand.

Barry smiled, and let Iris lead him back home.

~*~

He heard voices before he saw anything, blinded by the light of the vortex, his brain trying to slow down and make sense of everything. He stumbled one step, two, and then Iris had him in a tight hug, her hands warm on his back.

When Iris stepped back, her eyes were wet with tears, and she dashed teardrops from the corners of her eyes before she smiled at Barry. "I'm glad you're back. Stop doing that. I'm going to sit down now because I had twins a month ago and everything still hurts."

"Oh my God, Iris!" Barry gasped, and Cisco was there to help her to a chair. Then he drew Barry in for his own hug.

"You've gotta stop doing that, okay? The Speed Force gives me a killer migraine."

"I'll try not to do that for a while," Barry promised, and he looked around the room. It was empty except for the three of them, the computer screens still showing various pieces of information. What Sutherland called the gate seemed almost innocuous now, a large metal circle, the harness hooks limp and hanging uselessly.

Barry still shuddered.

"Where's Sutherland?" He was proud that his voice didn't waver. 

Cisco put his hand on Barry's shoulder and squeezed. "We're trying to figure that out. Our first priority was getting you back safely."

"How did you find me?" He was shaking after all, exhaustion and adrenaline and hunger mixing inside of him, and he stumbled to one of the chairs, sinking down with a soft sigh.

"Let's get back to STAR Labs first," Cisco said, and he tilted his visor down to look at Barry over the frames. "You okay to make the trip?"

"Yeah, I…" Barry took stock of himself; he was tired, aching, but the pain was already fading as the Speed Force worked to heal him. He remembered the energy coursing through him, the way they had ripped him open to get to the Speed Force at his core, but the memories were distant, muffled in a way. As if they didn't quite belong to him, or as if he'd dreamt it. "I'm tired, but I'm okay. I can make it to STAR."

"I'm not going to make you run, man. Jeez." Cisco opened a portal and carefully helped Iris through. Then it was their turn.

Caitlin was a flurry of movement as soon as Barry stepped through and acquainted himself with the labs. She dragged him over to one of the medical beds, and then, much more carefully, helped Iris over to the other to lay down.

"I'm fine," Iris insisted. "Just sore. The most strenuous thing I did was hug Barry."

"And drag him out of the Speed Force," Cisco muttered. "Again. But you know, no big."

"I'm giving you both a check up, so don't argue." Caitlin started by taking Barry's pulse, comparing it to previous measurements, and then hooked him into an IV before she continued.

Yellow lightning streaked into the cortex, and a moment later, Wally and Joe came through the door to the medical room. Joe followed only a few minutes later, and the chill civility of his work face melted when he saw Barry on the bed. He strode straight to him and hugged him hard, pressing Barry's face against his shoulder. He took a short, shaky breath and pressed his cheek to Barry's hair. 

Barry leaned into him, just a little bit. He was lucky. He was so damned lucky, again.

"Barr." Joe sniffed and let Barry go, shaking his head. "You ain't doing any favors for my blood pressure."

"Sorry, Joe." 

Joe nodded and turned to everyone else as Caitlin continued his examination. "Eddie's with the others at the station, filing our reports." 

"And covering our butts." Wally reached over and squeezed Barry's shoulder as if making sure Barry was really there, and then he stepped out of Caitlin's way.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Barry asked, trying not to fidget as Caitlin swung the beam of her flashlight into his eye. "Colonel Sutherland told me what they were trying to do, but I… wasn't really all there."

"It was scary, dude," Wally said. "Straight out of a government conspiracy movie, you know? If it weren't for Snart and the Rogues, we'd probably still be looking for you."

"I _mean_," Cisco interjected, "I would've been able to track that massive surge of dark matter, okay? It's not like we needed them or anything."

Barry looked around the room again, his forehead creasing. "Where is Len?"

"I texted him," Iris said immediately. "He knows you're okay."

"That doesn't really answer my question, but—" Barry's frown deepened. "Wait. When did you get Len's number?"

"I asked him." Iris rolled her eyes. "He only happens to be dating my best friend, who was just kidnapped."

Barry raised his hands in surrender and winced when it tugged at the IV line. 

"Barry Allen!" Caitlin scolded him, and he put his hands down immediately. She fussed over him again, checking the IV site to see if it had been disturbed.

"Sorry, Caitlin," he said ruefully before he turned his attention back to Iris. "Having his number wasn't a bad thing. I was just curious."

"Do you know what Sutherland was trying to do?" Caitlin set down her instruments and rested her hand on his shoulder. "Physically, it looks like you're fine, but you were there for days. What did they do to you?"

Barry opened his mouth, trying to find the words to explain what he'd experienced. He shook his head. "They told me they've been studying me and the way my abilities interact with the world. They thought that by opening a path through me and directly into the Speed Force, they would release another flood of dark matter and give their volunteers meta powers." Barry sucked in a deep breath. "The Speed Force protected me. I don't know anything after that."

Caitlin sucked in a long, slow breath, as if she were trying to stop herself from crying. "This is just like you. We hadn't even come up with a plan and you had to jump the gun."

"They were waiting for him," Wally said. "I don't think it was anyone's fault but theirs."

Joe ran his hand over his head. "Whoever this Sutherland guy is, he was gone before we got there. We nabbed a couple of lab techs, but they're under military jurisdiction, and I'm not sure how long we're going to be able to keep them."

"What about the woman?" Barry asked. "Uh, Carla Matheson? She was the meta who was following me."

"We're still investigating, but she's long gone," Joe admitted. "She's probably in the same place Sutherland is."

"Great. Another metahuman that hates me. I should put her on my Christmas card list."

There was a sound at the door, and Barry looked to find Leonard standing there, like he wasn't quite sure of his welcome. His face was stoic, but his eyes burned with so much intensity Barry was shocked that STAR Labs was still standing.

"Wow," Wally said loudly. "Did anyone else hear my stomach? I'm going to get some food." He zipped past Leonard in a flash of yellow lightning, and slowly, the others started to filter out after him.

Caitlin crossed her arms over her chest and stood at the foot of Barry's bed, and her hair grew pale as Frost rose to the surface.

"Are we gonna do this now, Doctor Snow?" Leonard asked, his hands open and easy at his sides. Barry wished he could see Caitlin's expression.

She shook her head. "I just wanted to tell you that you and the Rogues did quality work. Good job."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "We _always_ do quality work." He glanced over at Barry. "Mind if we have a moment?"

Caitlin's fists crackled with ice, but then she nodded, her hair darkening back to brown again. "I was running some tests, but I can stop for a few minutes."

"Thank you." Leonard stepped aside as Caitlin left the room, and then he turned his gaze back on Barry.

They were both silent for a minute, and even with the medical room empty, Leonard didn't move any closer. "You're okay."

"I'm okay." Barry raised his hand, the one without the IV, and wiggled his fingers expectantly.

Leonard inched across the room, and then he was at Barry's bedside, all at once, his ability making him flicker as if Barry had blinked.

"Iris told me you and the Rogues helped figure out where I was."

Leonard nodded, taking Barry's hand and lowering it back to the bed. "Hartley tracked you. Lisa, Shawna and I worked interference while Cisco opened his portal. Everything went according to plan."

"Len—"

"This is the way it's always gonna end up, isn't it?" Leonard said, almost as if he were speaking to himself. "Everyone comes after you. Even the people who are supposed to be the good guys."

Barry frowned. "You're one of the 'good guys' too. Don't act like you don't know what it's like."

Leonard's eyes met Barry's, and Barry could see the moment Leonard's walls came up, the way his eyes went narrow and wary. "You're safe," Leonard said, drawing Barry into a hug that Barry returned, clutching at him with a fear that was suddenly very real. "That's all that matters."

"Don't go," Barry blurted out, hiding his face against Leonard's shoulder. "You don't belong with the Legends and you don't belong with the Rogues. You belong with me. You love this city as much as I do."

"Hey. Where'd this come from?" Leonard said, his voice gentle enough to cut through the panic Barry was working himself into. "You're putting the cart before the horse again. Get some rest first. We'll figure everything else out later."

Barry bit his lip. "Do you know what they did to me?"

Leonard's face darkened. "I've got an idea, yeah."

"They used me to open the Speed Force. If they really did have me for days, we're going to see new metas pop up in our city. Sutherland said he wanted dark matter for his volunteers, but it's not like it's easy to direct, even when you're prepared for it."

"So we have new metas in Central. Doesn't mean all of them will be bad." Leonard was trying to soothe him, and it was kind of working despite everything.

"It's kind of nice to hear you being optimistic." Barry sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "We still have Sutherland and Matheson on the loose, and I doubt either of them will be happy."

Leonard shook his head. "You don't have to worry about Sutherland. I'll tip Lisa off to the other one, though, have her keep an eye on the streets."

"Wait, wait, what do you mean I don't have to worry about Sutherland?"

Leonard met Barry's gaze head on, and his face was so cold, so foreboding. "I mean you don't have to worry about Sutherland. Let's just leave it at that."

"I—I'm not just going to 'leave it at that.'" Barry stared harder at Leonard, his heart thumping painfully in his chest. "Len, what did you _do_?" Leonard averted his eyes, and a wave of dizziness swept over Barry, guilt lodging like a stone in his stomach. "You killed him, didn't you? You broke our agreement."

Leonard snorted and shook his head, resignation written all over his face. "Our agreement was strictly for heists." He took a step away from the bed, clasping his hands and rubbing his thumb against his wrist.

"That's semantics and you know it!" Barry protested. "He was a human being! He probably had a family—people who would miss him—"

Leonard whirled on him, his pale eyes glittering with rage. "He locked you up in a government laboratory and did who knows what to you for _days_, Barry. He's not even the first person I've killed for you. I don't care if it breaks our damned agreement. If killing someone keeps the people I love safe, I won't hesitate."

"The people you…?" Barry's eyes blurred and stung, and he squeezed them shut so he wouldn't cry. "Damn it, Leonard, that's not _fair_."

"You knew who I was. Who I am." Leonard shook his head. "I'm not a hero. And I ain't sorry."

"You can't kill people and say it's for me," Barry said. "You can't put that on me."

Leonard looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "Never said it was on you kid. Look, I get it. You didn't sign up for this. I'll get outta your hair."

Barry was able to process things fast, but he was stuck on the 'Leonard broke our agreement and murdered someone' thing and the 'Leonard said he loves me' thing, and he wasn't sure he could handle any more. He scrubbed the heels of his palms into his eyes, rubbing away his tears before he really started to cry. "You're leaving?"

Leonard crossed his arms and flicked a dismissive gesture into the air. Barry was always so impressed at how Leonard could say so much with so little. "If you don't want me to leave, what do you want me to do?"

Barry's face crumpled, tears stinging and hot on his cheeks. "Can you please just… hold me?"

Leonard crossed the space between them in two big steps, and then his arms were around Barry. He was still so careful with the arm that had the IV, but he allowed Barry to mash his face against the crook of his shoulder, let him slide his free hand beneath the parka and cling to the shirt beneath. The sweet, woody smell of Leonard's clothes chased the last of the Speed Force encounter from Barry's mind; it never really smelled like anything in there. He could smell the antiseptic cleanliness of the medical room, Leonard's skin, and Barry let out a shuddering breath.

"I don't want you to go," Barry muttered into Leonard's shoulder.

Leonard stroked back Barry's hair. "If you want me to stay, then I'll stay."

Even exhausted and confused as he was, Barry couldn't resist pushing for more. "And you'll help me with any new metas?"

"And I'll help you with new metas, _if_ you need it."

"And you'll stop killing people?"

Leonard squeezed the nape of Barry's neck. "I've only killed as a last resort."

Barry took a deep, shuddering breath, and pulled away to look at Leonard's face. "And you want to stay with me?"

Leonard rolled his eyes and brought Barry's hand up for a kiss. "No, you idiot. I only left my oldest friend on a time traveling ship to seduce you just so I could drop everything and run away at the first sign of trouble. Yes, I want to stay."

A weak grin pulled at Barry's mouth. "Okay, okay, you've made your point."

"I don't think I have." Leonard fussed with the pillows behind Barry head and then took Barry by the shoulders and made him lean back. "Take a damned nap."

"Can't. I'm not old."

The look Leonard gave him in return was scouring, but it made something light up in his chest. "I love you too, you know." Leonard looked away, the tips of his ears flushed a delicate pink, but he reached for Barry's hand and squeezed hard.

There were still so many unanswered questions, and Barry knew better than to think things would calm down. He just had to take things as they came and do his best. He was anchored in the present with everyone he loved, for now. And whatever waited for them in the future, at least he knew they would all face it together.

~*~


End file.
